Partners in Crime
by shipzz10
Summary: Lily is a Healer who is assigned to James Potter, an Auror, on a mission that brings together Hogwarts experiences and the current situation with the war together.
1. The Test

Hey guys,

this is my second fanfiction, well technically third. I started writing the same one a while ago – but for the lack of time, I stopped. I abandoned the first one a couple of chapters into the story because I didn't like where the story was going, but I decided to try something new. We've all read stories about the last couple of years at Hogwarts when Lily and James get together as Head Girl and Head Boy and what not, but I wanted to try something a little different this time. Hope it works out, reviews are greatly appreciated.

Lily Evans brushed her hair out of her eyes as she concentrated on the parchment in front of her, and bit her lip nervously while muttering under her breath.

"Gahh!" she finally yelled out in frustration a couple of minutes later throwing the papers in the air. She slammed her hand on the table and shut her eyes, taking deep breaths to calm herself down.

"You do know that if you continue freaking out like this, you really won't be able to pass the test tomorrow," a teasing voice came to her right in the dark shadows of the bookshelf. Lily opened one eye and looked, smiling wryly.

"Of course, Kiera knows best," she chuckled shutting her book.

"You know it's true Lily!" Kiera Wilkins replied coming out of the shadows.

"I just, what if I don't pass?" Lily asked, worry etched in her voice.

"Lily Evans! Are you seriously telling me that after all the work you've put into this program for the last couple of years, you think you are not going to pass? Or wait, do you mean get one wrong?" Kiera replied in mock horror. Lily shoved her papers at her in a playful manner, and then got up sighing as she looked at her watch.

"Okay, we better get moving before Annie freaks out wondering where we are."

"Wait, won't it be funny to see her eyes bulge and pull her hair out?"

"No Kiera, let's go!" Lily yanked her friend and the two of them apparated into a decent-sized apartment.

"There you are!" came a loud and angry voice. Kiera winced as she turned sideways to face a very tall girl who had her hands on her hips and was tapping her foot impatiently. "Well?" she asked.

"Well what?" Lily asked.

"Where have you been for the last hour? I've been driving myself nuts! Do you know all the crazy scenarios I just imagined up? For all I know, you could have been lying in a muddy ditch after being ransacked by a serial killer who cuts out your eyes and preserves them as souvenirs!"

"Both of us?" Kiera chuckled.

"You do know that there are worse dangers out there other than rampaging murderers." Annie thundered back, her voice ice now. Grimacing, Lily replied.

"Annie dear, I promise you that we were fine. I was just caught up in studying and Kiera here decided to wait for me."

"Oh well, then didn't you think it would make sense to send me a note or something? Especially when we agreed this morning that we would meet here at 5:30, and it's already close to 7:00?"

"Well Lily over here kept on wanting to stay a little while longer at the library! I mean, come on Annie, wonder what's going to happen to her tomorrow if she finds out that she failed, which according to her is getting a couple of questions wrong? Imagine the shame, the embarrassment!" Kiera joked.

"You forget about the humiliation, how would she ever be able to live it down!" Annie grinned joining in the game as the two girls chanted around Lily,

"Oh what a shame! Oh what a shame! Oh what a shame!" Laughing, Lily chucked a couple of pillows at her best friends.

"Shut up you fools!" Lily narrowed her eyes at them, trying her best to maintain her haughty manner and stalked off, leaving two girls shaking with suppressed humor.

The next day morning, Lily got up, with nervousness building up in her stomach like when you're about to go on the roller coaster ride of your life but you keep thinking about how the coaster will get stuck in mid-air or run you to the ground. She quickly got dressed and went out to grab breakfast before she left to take her test. As she walked out, she already saw Annie and Kiera there, waiting for her.

"What are you guys already doing up?" Lily asked surprise evident on her face.

"Well, we figured that this is a big day for you, and that you won't be in a mood to sit and make breakfast, so here we are!" Annie chirped in.

"Oh Anniekins! What would we ever do without you mothering us around?" Kiera teased mercilessly. Annie stuck her tongue out, and turned to serve Lily breakfast.

Lily could barely eat anything then, but she knew that she would appreciate the food when the hunger pangs came halfway during the test.

Apparating quickly to St. Mungos, Lily walked to the testing area of the hospital, her legs weighing her down as if they were filled with lead. Every step brought her nearer to her doom, a doom that had the potential to change her life forever. Being the first in the room reminder of those days at Hogwarts when she would always be the first one in the room ready to take an exam. Shrugging herself out of her reverie, Lily picked a seat and sat down, tapping her fingers nervously as she tried to calm herself.

She tried remembering the instructions that she'd received from her professor, Professor McLaine a couple of weeks ago.

_"Now remember, the test is different per person. It depends on what the supervisors have in mind for you, they could test you on healing charms, or they could test you on regular check up spells. It all depends on what your progress has been all these years, and what we've noticed. There is no real way to prepare for this test, except to go over all your charms and spells and have confidence. Really Lily, you should have no problem passing this test." _ Groaning, Lily put her face in her hands. She knew that she should have reviewed more, should have studied more. But before she could continue berating herself, the door opened abruptly and shut with a bang.

Lily looked up to see a short little woman with hair as frizzy as if she had just been on a life-threatening crusade in the jungles of Southeast Asia. Her glasses were perched so far off her nose that they were almost dangling off her face. Lily had to resist a sudden urge to push the glasses up for her so the woman could see her properly.

"Hi love, I'm Healer Lorraine, what's your name?"

"Lily, Lily Evans!" she squeaked.

"Oh Lily Evans, of course," her eyes scanned a piece of paper that had magically appeared in front of her. She snapped her fingers and the paper disappeared as fast as it had appeared. "Shall we start the test then?"

"Start? But what about the others?" Lily asked softly.

"Others? Oh no dear, this is a one-to-one test. How else shall we ever know whether are you capable of handling it by yourself or not?"

"Handling what?" Lily asked in a slightly bold voice and then bit her tongue to remind herself that this wasn't someone who knew her usually, and that could get her a bad reputation.

"Oh you'll find out in a moment." Healer Lorraine replied, a sudden grin cracking across the withered face. "Shall we go now?" She asked, and Lily nodded, wondering about her test.

"Okay, so first we are going to go into the Deadly Injuries and Maladies Ward." Lily followed Healer Lorraine across familiar doors and hallways.

Lily took a deep breath and pulled out her wand, ready, all the spells and charms she'd spent the last two years learning, strong in her mind.

"What am I supposed to do?" she asked Healer Lorraine, looking around the empty room she stood in.

"Now dear, let your natural instincts come to you." Lily looked at her confused, but before she could ask any more questions, a figure materialized in front of her.

It was a man lying on a stretcher, his face contorted in pain. Months of training took over her mind, and the natural impulse kicked in. Lily ran over to him, and checked him for symptoms for poisoning. Then she noted where his injuries were and quickly formed a possible conclusion in his mind. Knowing that time was of the essence, she hurried around grabbing vials that had magically appeared as soon she thought of them and applied them on him. A couple of minutes later, the man was bandaged, his hollowed breathing had returned to normal, and Lily turned to Healer Lorraine, her face sweating and her own breathing a little shallow.

"Excellent job Miss Evans! Let's keep moving shall we."

Once again, Lily had no time to think. This time in front of her was a small boy. His dark black hair was matted onto his forehead with a trickle of blood slowly oozing down his face. Lily's heart lurched as the face turned into one she'd seen everyday for the seven years that she was at Hogwarts but she shoved it to the back of her mind as paranoia and ran to heal him. Using all her concentration and every ounce of magic within her, she managed to heal up his gaping wound from where you could see his stomach, leaving only a faint scar. Finally, when she was done, she sagged against the wall, her hands shaking.

"Miss Evans, that was a remarkable job to do so in such a short period of time. I must say that when your supervisors said that you were an excellent healer, I was afraid that they were slightly exaggerating your talents a bit, but now I see why they hold you to such high esteem."

Lily looked up, weariness etched into her face, her heart heavy, wondering what her next test would be.

"What's next?" she asked, her voice shaking as she couldn't get the face out of her mind.

Instead of replying, Healer Lorraine just turned around and walked away at a fast pace, her dark green robes swishing against the ground. Catching her breath, Lily caught up to her, wondering what could possibly top the previous part of the test. They walked for quite a while, Lily got into the rhythm of following Healer Lorraine's robes instead of looking up so when the healer stopped, Lily bumped into her quite abruptly. Turning red, Lily looked up to see the healer's eyes rest on her in a solemn gaze.

"This next part of the test is…different," Healer Lorraine murmured softly. Lily had to strain her ears to hear her clearly. "This will be the hardest of all parts of the test, the true indicator as to whether do you have it in you to be a healer or not. Knowing spells and charms is one thing, knowing how to use them is another, but this…this cannot be learned, it comes with some people naturally, and those develop into the type of healers who find cures for the diseases that haunt our time and such. Maybe it is something within them that pushes them to it or is it just that they have the drive and motivation, I don't know. Anyone can be a healer, I mean, if you can do magic, you can help out a great deal, but to truly heal, and I mean really heal, it requires strength. Let's see, Miss Evans, how you fare in this, for this is when your books are of no use."

Lily felt her heart grow cold. What if after all these years of hard work, starting all the way from first year till the night before meant absolutely nothing? What if she didn't have it in her to be a true healer, after all, Healer Lorraine had said that books won't help you over here, it has to be natural. What if…

Lily shook herself out of her rants and decided to concentrate on the task ahead. She noticed that Healer Lorraine was waiting for her to come back, so she nodded and steeled her mind to figure out what to do next.

"Okay then Miss Evans, I shall leave you alone, good luck!" Healer Lorraine wished her, no trace of the previous solemnity left on her cheery face. Lily waited for a couple of minutes, impatient to start, and yet wanting more time to sort her thoughts out. Just as Lily had fallen into the pattern of softly muttering a spell under her breath after knowing what it was used for, a bed appeared in the room. Lily looked around, wondering what to do.

Suddenly, the room expanded and she was in the maternity ward. In front of her lay a woman, her face screwed up in pain as her breathing grew heavier and heavier with each breath. Lily felt the rush of adrenaline shoot through her veins and she went into healer mode.

She'd trained for this hundreds of times, practiced on countless dummies as to what to do if a pregnant woman came, and you were the only healer on duty, even if your specialty wasn't with babies. However, as Lily advanced closer, it seemed that this case was different. To ease the woman's pain, Lily put a numbness charm on her, but still she started screaming. Then she noticed that the mother had lost a lot of blood. Setting her mind to the task, she went ahead to work.

A couple of minutes later, she was still working, but she'd noticed that the woman was losing a lot of blood. It didn't seem as if she would survive. The woman gasped,

"My baby! My son, is he okay?" Lily couldn't trust herself to speak without breaking down, so she just nodded. This woman was on the brink of death, and yet she was worried about whether would her son survive or not.

_"No, I will not let her die. She needs to live to see her son grow, she needs to be there for him, to take care of him when he's a child and to have him take care of her in old age. I will NOT let her die."_ Muttering those words again and again, as if they were a mantra, giving her the strength to complete the task, Lily managed to replenish the lost blood without causing further damage.

Around 15 minutes later, the whole ordeal was over, and the woman was holding a tiny boy in her arms, her face glowing with pride as she gazed at her child in a dream world.

"Thank you," she said softly, her hands already getting to known her infant son. Lily nodded, not trusting herself to speak. In a moment, the whole scene in front of her vanished. Astonished, Lily wondered whether had she gone senile and was it all a dream. But she looked down, and the bloodstains on her clothes were still there, which meant that it did happen. But where did the woman go?

"She's gone back to the maternity ward." Healer Lorraine spoke from behind Lily. Lily jumped up in surprise, this woman kept on scaring her by sneaking up on her!

"Oh." That's all that Lily could manage.

"That was quite an effort you put in there,"

"For a while, I thought that I was going to lose her."

"I didn't. I always knew that you had it in you, but you had to find out for yourself. Just out of curiosity, what gave you that final push to try harder than you did before?"

"I don't really know. I think it might have been the concern that the mother had for her son, she knew that she'd lost a lot of blood, that she probably wouldn't survive if that continued, but all she asked for was, whether was her son okay."

"Ah yes, the love a mother has for her child. That is deeper than any charm or spell even the most powerful wizard of witch can conjure, it surpasses all boundaries and portals. Of course, love of any kind is powerful, but that is unconditional love, which is very rare to find in today's world. But, this is not a philosophy class, and this wasn't a theoretical discussion. You, Miss Evans, have passed the Healing test. Do you have any questions at this point in time?"

"Yes, I actually do. Does every trainee get the same situation or is it different every time?"

"Oh no, absolutely not. Your supervisors spend the last two years observing you, seeing what your capabilities are. Then, they decide what level of healing you would probably be placed into, and that's how we base your test. That was the hardest test of them all, because you shall be assigned to the most difficult, the most challenging position a healer can have right now."

"To deal with the injuries as I did with that man before? Or the woman with her baby?"

"Oh no dear, that's not the biggest of all challenges, that is the beginning of the ordeal that you shall begin to face soon, actually starting tomorrow." Healer Lorraine added.

Lily felt her heart clench, wondering what could possibly be worse than what she had just experienced.

"However, this is not the place for this sort of discussion. Now if you please, will you follow me to my office please? There are some people who are anxiously awaiting our arrival." Lily followed Healer Lorraine, wondering what on earth was going on. This had never been explained in healing training at all. It was just the basic work which they were expected to know.

Healer Lorraine opened a brown oak door, and Lily followed her in, only to be greeted by two very unknown stern looking men, and a jovial man she'd known for almost a decade now.

"Professor Dumbledore!" she exclaimed in happiness, knowing that she was on the right path and this wasn't a big hoax planned by some jerk.

"Hello Miss Evans, it has been too long since we've met." Dumbledore replied, his blue eyes twinkling in amusement as he looked fondly at his ex-Head Girl.

"Miss Evans, I am Alastor Moody," one of the men croaked, his eye swiveling around, causing Lily to jump in fright. "I am a Auror from the auror department. I'm not sure if you're aware of the situation with You-Know-Who or not, but we are the ones who deal with his Death Eaters."

"Yes, know that, but what do I have to do with that? I am only a Healer," Lily questioned, with a trace of impatience that she immediately controlled at Dumbledore's pointed look.

"Ah that Miss Evans, is an excellent point you bring up. You see, the Aurors lead a very dangerous job, and often times, they have to travel far distances. Not only is it important that the Death Eaters are prevented from hurting any more people, it is just equally as vital that more people are stopped from joining their ranks. This job requires an Auror to travel far distances, sometimes, they travel so far, that it is not even possible for them to come back here in times of need for it might be too late then for them." Dumbledore interjected

"I'm not sure if I understand completely Professor," Lily replied, confused.

"You see Miss Evans, the tests that you went through back there were to prepare you for what you might see." Healer Lorraine explained.

"See where? In the hospital?" Lily asked.

"Oh no dear, you see, for what we're asking of you requires you to be a healer, though not at the hospital. We are asking you to work alongside an Auror, and be with them wherever they go."

"But I don't have the training to be an Auror."

"You have the talent within you to do this." Healer Lorraine's soft voice struck Lily's heart.

"You also have the stubbornness to stick with the task as well. Now if I remember correctly, you and a certain group of boys argued tremendously during your Hogwarts years. As I always told Minerva, boys will be boys whenever mischief was done. But in your case for the retaliation, she always rebuked with "will girls always be girls as well, Albus." Dumbledore joked wryly.

"Back to the point here Evans, you will have to work hard on this job." Moody interrupted impatiently in a slightly brusque manner.

"Agreed, which is why now that you've passed the Healer's test, you shall go through one month of vigorous training with the Auror department. That is if you agree." Healer Lorraine said.

"Now Miss Evans, there always is an alternative. For this isn't an easy job, and neither is it safe. You will be facing danger quite often, if not every day. And there will be times when it won't be easy." Dumbledore assured her.

"I'll do it." Lily replied without missing a beat.

"Now Miss Evans, this is not a job that you can take lightly. You have to be a 100 sure that you are willing, for you will be with this person day and night, you guys will be closer than you probably ever have than anyone else in the entire world. And once you've agreed, you cannot change your mind." Moody warned her. Lily nodded, knowing that she would do this.

"Okay, tomorrow then, come back here, and we'll introduce you to your Auror. He's newly trained, but one of the best we have out there. I think that you guys will work well together." The second man finally spoke up. Lily just nodded, not sure how she was supposed to reply to this. As he turned to talk to Moody, Lily took it as a sign of dismissal, however she was stopped by Dumbledore.

"Miss Evans, would you mind taking a walk with me?"

"Sure Professor."

As the door behind them shut, and the two walked down a hallway with rooms filled with patients on both sides.

"Now Lily, I know that you had your heart set on working in the hospital, being actually here to help save people, and cure people. I know that this is what your dream job was, and this is all that you've worked towards for the last 9 years. However, what you've been chosen to do, I think is a more noble profession."

"I know Professor."

"Now, you may not be helping the injured people, you may be helping to prevent people from getting hurt."  
"True, I never thought of it that way."

"Also, I think that in this experience, you will find some things about yourself that you never knew existed. Learning how to deal with people, learning tolerance, learning how to understand other people. I firmly believe that this will be an enlightening experience for you, Miss Evans." And with that, Headmaster Dumbledore popped, leaving a very confused Miss Evans wondering what the Headmaster meant by the last statement.


	2. Partners

AN: Thanks for all those who reviewed.

Disclaimer: I forgot to do it last chapter, but yeah, none of what you recognize belongs to me, it belongs to J.K. Rowling.

The next day, Lily woke up, feeling even more nervous than she had the day before. Looking at her alarm clock, she noticed that she still had a while to go before her appointment back at the hospital so she sat down, reliving the experience from the day before.

_Lily walked into the apartment, her mind still jumbled with all the happenings of the day. Usually, she was the first one to reach home since Annie and Kiera went to work later than she usually did, but she walked in to find both of them waiting for her, with expectant looks on their faces._

_"I passed." She said sheepishly._

_"Of course! I knew you could do it." Annie smiled sweetly._

_"We all knew she could do it, I don't even know why we bothered worrying so much about her." Kiera grumbled good-naturedly._

_"Because we are her friends, and we're there for her." Annie reminded her._

_"So which ward are you being placed in?" Kiera asked Lily._

_"I actually am not being placed in a ward," Lily replied. In response to Kiera's quirked eyebrow, she added. "I guess that I am not the typical Healer, I've been given a special assignment."_

_"Like what?" Annie asked interestedly._

_"I'm assigned to an Auror, and I will travel with them, and help them in their job, while being them for them in case they get hurt. Many Aurors have been lost because they couldn't reach the hospital in time and couldn't heal themselves. The Ministry doesn't have enough Aurors in the first place, and they cannot afford to lose any more."_

_"What if something happens to you?" Annie asked worriedly._

_"I know Annie Dumbledore gave me the chance to back out after they had explained everything to me but for some reason, I know that I have to do this. It's almost as if it's my…destiny?"_

_"Hey she's going to be with an Auror 24/7 which means she will obviously be protected." Kiera reasoned._

_"So…do you know if it's a man or a woman?" Annie asked_

_"Huh?"_

_"The Auror that you're working with."_

_"I…actually don't know. I actually don't know anything about this mysterious Auror." Lily replied._

In the morning, she was still wondering as to who her partner would be, the person she had to spend the next couple of months with.

"Lilyyyy! Are you up?" Annie yelled.

"Coming!" Lily walked into the kitchen to find Annie and Kiera arguing as usual over some trivial matter.

"Ah, but see, you act as if you're only 2 years old sometimes. I mean, act at least a little bit serious once in a while." Annie admonished.

"Please don't ever say that word!" Kiera moaned dramatically.

"Why? Is it because you can't bear the thought of not being able to tease us every step of the way?" Lily giggled.

"Or…is it because that name reminds you of someone, someone whom you "absolutely and positively loathed" back at Hogwarts?" Annie joined, a mischievous glint gleaming in her dark blue eyes.

"If you ever say that prat's name in this house, I will hex you so hard that nobody will ever be able to recognize you!" Kiera answered passionately.

"Ah, this kind of passion, young Miss Wilkins, will bring suffering and pain in your life," Lily imitated Professor Trelawney's mystic voice.

"Please! Please don't do that voice! It reminds me of that batty old woman's class and how bored I was the whole time." Kiera shuddered.

"You mean the classes that you actually managed to stay awake for?" Annie batted her eyes innocently when Kiera scowled at her.

"Oh no! I'm running late, I've gotta go!" Lily said hurriedly, picking up her stuff and she Apparated quickly.

"Watch her get some moron, some fool who's going to get her killed." Annie muttered under her breath to Kiera who just looked at her in amusement.

Lily walked towards Healer Lorraine's office, her heart thumping with trepidation as to who her partner would be. It would have to be someone with a little more experience than her, they wouldn't assign two novices together, would they? She knocked on the door, and Healer Lorraine's soft voice called out,

"Come in!" Lily walked in purposefully, trying to put a pretense of more confidence in her stride, while trying to calm her thumping her heart.

"Sorry I am late Healer…" She stopped abruptly as she noticed that the Healer already had company. Professor Dumbledore and Moody were already standing there, with a young man who had his back towards her. Lily blinked her eyes rapidly, trying to clear up her vision. There was only one person she knew who had hair that wild,

"James Potter?" Lily whispered, and the man turned around. Lily's heart lurched even more as she saw the once familiar hazel eyes stare at her with an intensity that was unmatched.

"Oh so you already know him?" Healer Lorraine clapped her eyes excitedly. "This will make things so much better."

"They were Heads together at Hogwarts," Dumbledore supplied.

"If they were Heads together, then why does she look so surprised, maybe even frightened?" Moody asked suspiciously.

With that, Lily snapped out of her reverie and replied briskly,

"I was just surprised to see James as my partner. I was hoping that I would have some one with a little bit more experience so we don't get ourselves killed." James cocked his right eyebrow up at the last remark; Lily just shrugged her shoulders in reply.

"Ah Miss Evans, James here is one of the finest Aurors in the field right now. I have no doubts about his capabilities." Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling.

"Lily, normally you would spend a month training with the Auror Academy as an Auror so you have some fighting chance if you're ever cornered by yourself, but something has come up. This will only give you a week to train with James, just the two of you so he can help you with the skills of utmost importance and vital to your survival. You will pack whatever you need tonight, and you will go with him." Moody explained.

"Tonight?" Lily faltered at the thought of leaving her beloved haven so soon.

"Lily, things have gotten really bad and it is very important that you and James get a head start." Dumbledore replied gently. "Would it be possible for me to talk to my students quickly?" he asked Healer Lorraine and Moody who nodded and left the professor and the two young adults alone. Once the two adults had filed out, Dumbledore shut the door and turned to face the two.

"Now I know that the two of you have had your…erm, differences in the past." Lily blushed at that, and she swore that she heard James chuckle. "But I want both your promises to me that you will not let that interfere in your work. I know that both of you have the ability to rise above those differences and be the best fighting pair that's out there. Look after each other though." Before Lily could even open her mouth to assure him, James spoke.

"Professor, I guarantee you that I will protect Lily as I would protect anybody else, and not let our past come in between. She will be like Sirius, Remus or Peter to me." Stunned, Lily looked at him to see if he was joking, but his face was straight without even a hint of a smile or a grin. Satisfied, Dumbledore turned to Lily.

"I too won't allow our past differences to interfere in the work. He will get the best healing that I can offer." Lily remarked.

"You know James, it's not just about you protecting her. Or Lily, about you healing him. You guys will become partners, a team. This won't be like the Head positions where the worst an argument could do was cause a delay in the activities or some tension during Prefect meetings. This is a matter of saving lives, the difference between life and death. You cannot let your personal problems or differences get into the way of the greater good. It's not also of just healing James when he's hurt or James protecting Lily from danger. You guys aren't just Healers or Aurors you know. You are people who have to work together to get to the bottom of this mess that Voldemort has created. There will be missions where you will depend on each other, not only for skills but intelligence as well. But also take this chance to get to know each other, you may discover that you missed out on a great friend all the time that you spent fighting. And who knows, there may be time to make up for lost opportunities." The whole time Dumbledore had looked at both of them, but the last one he turned towards James. Confused, Lily wondered what he meant by that.

"Now I know Lily that tonight seems to be too soon for you but you need to know that sooner you get trained with James, the sooner you are able to get out there on the field doing missions for us. James, I want you to go to Lily's apartment and help her pack, and then take her wherever you need to. I want a report in a week's time on her progress. I know that it will be good. Bye." Dumbledore walked out leaving a very uncomfortable Lily and a silent James behind.

"We should.."

"Where do you.." Both of them spoke at the same time.

"You go ahead first," Lily chuckled weakly.

"No, go ahead."

"I was just going to say that we should head to my apartment and…if you don't want to help me pack, just tell me where to meet you and I'll meet you there in a couple of hours."

"No, it's fine. I'll help you. Two hands are better than one." Lily shrugged and walked out of the door, hoping that James would follow her and she wouldn't have to talk too much on the way home.

Lily opened her door and walked in, expecting it to be empty. Instead, she found Kiera and Annie sitting on the couches, reading.

"What are you guys doing home?" She asked, surprised.

"We were waiting for you." Kiera replied in a bored voice.

"Both of us were wondering who you were assigned with, whether will it be a buffoon or someone who can actually take care of you." Annie explained further. Lily winced, as she imagined Annie's expression when she would realize that it was James Potter who was assigned as her partner. Lily turned behind to see the usual impassive face of James Potter break into a wide grin. He winked at her. Lily looked at him pleadingly. They both knew what Annie's temper could be like when provoked, and in this case, Kiera would join her as well. Both the girls knew that James had made Lily's life hell at Hogwarts, and they would need his reassurance before they let Lily out of their sight even for a minute, let alone for an indefinite amount of time. He got the meaning of her look, and once again, his face straightened into the bored expression, but there was still a hint of mischief in his eyes.

"What would you say if he was a buffoon but he still promises to take care of her?" He called out from behind Lily. Lily turned around just in time to see Kiera's jaw drop wide open, and Annie's eyes narrow.

"James Potter?" Annie whispered. Lily nodded. James walked around Lily and stood there in front of the two inspecting girls. Kiera gave one look at him and nodded at Lily, who sighed in relief. This would be so much easier if the other two didn't gang up on her. She closed her eyes expecting to hear Annie yell at James soon about his behavior at Hogwarts, but instead she heard laughing. She opened one eye to see Annie giggling.

"Have you gone mad?" Lily wondered out loud.

"No," Annie replied. "It's just funny that James is your partner…ohh this is going to be so amusing."

"When do you have to leave?" Kiera asked, smiling.

"Tonight." That stopped the giggling abruptly.

"I know it's too soon, and that you guys would want to spend some time together, but it is really important that we get a move on and she will come back in a little while you know."

"She will?" Annie asked tearfully. James looked at her and pulled Lily up to him and looked at her.

"Now Lily, can you imagine that she didn't think that you would come to visit them? What could possibly make them think that? Do they doubt my character or are they afraid that you will make me so mad that I'll just tie you up and leave you to rot?" Lily giggled, being reminded of the playful arguments they used to have during the last year at Hogwarts.

"No, they're probably just afraid that I will get lost." Kiera laughed as she remembered the several trips that Lily had insisted on taking by herself, and got lost instead.

"You mean like the time when you thought to go grocery shopping and you landed up in America instead of England?" Kiera chuckled. Lily turned to frown at her; she didn't want James thinking that she was incapable of taking care of herself. James roared with laughter but subsided it quickly as Lily turned to glare at him.

"Ok you need to pack, and we'll help you." Annie got up, ready to bustle.

"I guess that four hands are better than two." James muttered.

Later on, James sat on Lily's bed patiently as the three girls finished wiping away their tears.

"James must think we're such ninnys." Annie hiccupped, trying to smile.

"It's not as if I haven't seen you guys cry like this…remember graduation?" James grinned.

"Oh God, let's not get started on that." Kiera grumbled.

"Okay, Lily, it's time to go." James said getting up. Lily hugged her two best friends one last time and turned towards James.

"Where to?" she asked.

"Nope, no Apparition allowed where I'm taking you." James replied.

"Then how are we supposed to get there?" Lily asked confused.

"Just take a hold of my hand Lily, and it'll be fine." Lily raised an eyebrow at this statement, but did it anyways. A second later, the room swirled around and Lily had no idea what was going on. It was as if the world was being turned upside down, that is until she landed hard on her butt.

"Oww." She groaned rubbing her backside.

"Yeah sorry about that, it's not always the same transporting with another person." James got up besides her, offering her a hand up.

Taking it, Lily replied, "Ah don't worry about it. What's one more bruise after all the ones you gave me back at school." James grinned widely at that.

"So…what exactly are we doing? What is this top-secret mission that was so dangerous that they wanted you to have a Healer with you?" Lily asked, her curiosity finally getting the better of herself.

"We're going to pass ourselves off as Death Eaters and invade Voldemort's ranks." James answered her solemnly.


	3. Charming with Memories

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that you recognize.

"Invade Voldemort's ranks! Are you insane? We're going to be killed! What can you possibly hope to gain from this?" Lily rambled on while James tried to get a word in, but didn't succeed.

"How are we supposed to fool the darkest wizard that has ever risen in this world since the beginning of time?" she shrieked this time, pacing up and down. Finally James yelled over her screams,

"Lily! Listen to me!" and she quieted down.

"We are going to pass ourselves off as Death Eaters and…"

"Oh yeah? How is that going to happen? Don't you think that he is going to find it just an itsy-bitsy weird if the last remaining Potter, one of the families known for fighting the Dark Arts, suddenly decides to join him? And what about me! I am Muggle-born…I am the people whom he actually hunts!" Lily interrupted.

"Okay, listen to me." James said, grabbing a hold of Lily's shoulders. "We will change our appearances and pose as a couple who have been in America for the last few years. Our experiences in America showed us the "right" way that a wizard should behave towards Muggle-born and which is why we have come to take our place on Voldemort's side." James finished explaining their cover story. Lily looked at James in askance.

"You mean that I am going to have to pretend that I want to go around killing Muggles?" James sighed, he knew that this posed a problem, not only for her, but for himself as well. It went against their principles.

"I know that it's going to be hard Lily, I don't know what will happen. But I can't seem to stress enough the direness of our situation. We have to become 'Death Eaters.'"

"Why?" Lily asked.

"Okay, I will explain that to you in just a couple of minutes. But first I want you to take a look around. We're going to be staying here until our mission is completed." That is when Lily really took notice of her surroundings.

James had transported them to a fairly large sized room. While there was no furniture in the room besides a padding of mattress that seemed to cover the entire room, Lily saw that there was a hallway leading somewhere from the left side. Lily went towards the hallway and walked down it, with James following her.

"This here to the right is your room, while this here to the left is mine. I know it's not much, but this was all that I could get at the amount of notice I had. I saw your apartment and I know that you're used to better homes, but yeah. Over here is the kitchen, now I promise that I will try my best to keep it clean, but living with Annie, I can only imagine the levels of cleanliness that you are used to." James rambled on as he tried to assure Lily and more importantly, himself, that Lily was okay with their accommodations. It was a habit he had picked up since the Hogwarts years, always wanting to please her.

"James!" Lily interrupted him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "It's fine. We're not here on vacation, we're here to kick some Dark ass." At that, James broke into a wide grin and Lily giggled.

"Dark ass, Lily? Are you planning on viewing these assets of the various people before you decide to beat them up?" James teased as Lily blushed.

"So anyways, what did you have to explain to me?" Lily asked. James sighed; she never forgot anything.

"Okay fine, I was hoping to postpone this till later on, but let's sit down somewhere, you pick, your room or mine?" James suggested.

"Mine." Lily replied, walking to her room, surprised to already find her bag there. She raised an eyebrow at James, who shrugged.

"I may not be up to your level of Charms, but I can do some of the simple ones." Lily shook her head in amusement; Charms was the only class that Lily had beaten James by far.

"Okay explain now!" Lily asked, her curiosity getting the better of her, as she sat down on the comfortable bed, while James chose to sit on the armchair in the corner of her room.

"Maybe it'd be better if I answered your questions instead of just giving you this whole long blahhhh."

"Why do we have to become 'Death Eaters'?" Lily demanded. James groaned; she would pick the hardest ones.

"You never took the easy way out, did you Evans? You would drag the whole story out from me. Do you remember hearing about the Order of the Phoenix back when we were at Hogwarts?"

"Yeah, but it was always hushed up. Nobody ever actually explained what it was."

"That's because it is a secret organization against Voldemort. I don't know if they told you guys at Healer training, but there are people in the Ministry who follow Voldemort's train of thought." Lily gasped at that; she hadn't known. "Exactly, so how are we supposed to know who will actually fight to bring down Voldemort or to help him? When we were back at school, Dumbledore created the Order of the Phoenix to fight him. He knows that all the members will do everything in their power to stop him and that is where you and I come in. There are older Aurors out there, but not enough. Voldemort's influence is far and strong, there are many people who are following his orders just because they are scared to death of him. The older members from the Order are recruiting the young ones so that Dumbledore's message spreads far as well. So basically, the work that you and I will be doing is unauthorized by the Ministry."

"So if we land into a spot of trouble…the Ministry won't be there to bail us out?" Lily asked, the importance of their situation finally sinking in.

"No, but the Order will. I really wanted to explain this to you before I brought you here. Heck, I even wanted to give you a couple of days to get used to the idea of you working with me. It was tough enough as Heads, let alone as people who depend on each other for surviving." Over here, James voice softened and Lily squired uncomfortably. She didn't liked being reminded of those years at Hogwarts that were spent fighting. James realized this and continued. "Now to answer your actual question. We need to pose as Death Eaters to catch the traitor?"

"Traitor?" Lily repeated, her mind working overtime.

"Yeah, there is a leak in the information. For the last couple of missions, every time we have received information about a Death Eater attack, it's either been false information or the Death Eaters have vanished by the time we've reached, leaving a mass of dead bodies behind." Lily shuddered; she remembered reading about the various attacks in the Daily Prophet. "Our job is to find the traitor and report it to Dumbledore so we can finally beat Voldemort at his own game." James finished grimly, but Lily didn't miss the mischievous glint in his eyes.

"You're looking forward to this aren't you?" Lily chuckled.

"You have no idea. Every mission I've been on, it's been with one of the older Aurors, this is my chance to show myself and the world that James Potter can do something when he puts his mind to it!" James smiled, thrusting his chest outward in pride. Lily laughed.

"You mean, like making the lives of every Hogwarts student or should I say…every Slytherin student and the Gryffindor girls a living hell during your years at Hogwarts?" James joined her, laughing.

"Now I don't think it's fair to say the Gryffindor girls in general, just the ones in the same year as me." His grin stretched across his face.

Lily smiled, her mind traveling back in time with that grin. She had seen that grin so many times throughout her seven years, either when he played a prank or when he was hanging out with his friends, the Marauders. There were times when that grin was even directed at her, especially once the enmity had dissolved, they had become friends. Lily shook her head, coming back to the present.

"So what do you think? Are you glad that you chose this option instead of working at St. Mungos?" James asked anxiously.

"While I may have saved more lives directly by working at the hospital, I think this is more important, and it definitely won't be boring." Lily replied, her eyes dancing.

"Well, then I'm going to let you settle in … or whatever you girls need to do that take you guys forever to get ready for bed."  
"How do you know that girls take forever to get ready for bed?" Lily asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I shared a common room with you for a year Lily," James reminded her as he walked out of her room and shut the door. Lily flopped down on her bed, lying down on her back, staring at the ceiling, her mind still on that grin. Yes, that grin had been there when he played pranks on Snape, the grin had been there when he played pranks on her, but the grin had also been there when she had secretly liked him for all these years.

James walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him and sighed in relief. That was hard, he had been afraid that Lily would freak out when she found out how exactly deep in danger she had gotten herself. She had never been too fond of taking risks. Walking into his room, he remembered his first meeting with Dumbledore about this mission.

_"Hello James," Dumbledore said, sitting down. They were at Hogwarts in Dumbledore's office. James was a little confused, he had no idea why Dumbledore had called him down alone to his office, he hadn't been here since the end of seventh year, almost two years ago. "I am sorry for making you wait."_

_"No problem Professor."_

_"Well James, Moody was telling me that you have worked very well on all the missions with him and the other Aurors. Both of us believe that you are ready to take on a mission by yourself, well not completely by yourself." James looked a little confused so Dumbledore elaborated. "As you probably know, in the last few months, there have been a few mix-ups concerning the information that the Order has received. I believe that the reason for that is that there is a traitor amidst us, and we NEED to find out who it is before further damage is done. Now what I want you to do is to pretend to be a Death Eater and join Voldemort's ranks." James jaw fell open, his eyes widened and he sat there gaping at his old Headmaster for a couple of seconds._

_"But...but Professor," he finally gained his voice, "what do you mean pretend to be a Death Eater?"_

_"I mean exactly that James! Pretend to be a Death Eater and find out who this traitor is, so once and for all, we know and manage it!" Dumbledore replied heatedly. James stared at Dumbledore, he had never seen him this excited. He nodded his assent._

_"Okay good, then this brings me to the second part of the reason for this meeting. Once you assimilate yourself among them, there will be no real way for you to contact us without blowing the whole mission, and do that if need be, but remember, only if absolutely necessary. Because you can't really reach us, I want you to take someone with you, and I don't mean one of your friends. You might be a little surprised at this suggestion, but what do you think about Lily Evans?"_

_James heart slammed against his chest, beating loudly. He hoped that Dumbledore couldn't hear how loud and fast his heartbeats had become._

_"Lily…Lily Evans?" he stuttered, wondering how this could be happening to him._

_"I understand that you guys had a tumultuous experience at Hogwarts, but I was also under the impression that your guys er…relationship had improved drastically in your seventh year?" _

_"Yes Professor," James chuckled reminiscing the fights that he and Lily had had, eventually becoming friends by the end of their Hogwarts career._

_"So I would be safe in assuming that it wouldn't be a problem in pairing you and Miss Evans up?"_

_"None at all, Professor."_

_"Thanks for coming out here today, James. I'll stay in touch with you for more information about this as we proceed." James stood up, shook Dumbledore's hand and walked out, still in a daze._

_He couldn't believe it; it had been more than eight months since he had last even seen Lily, and that was during a crowded party where he had glanced at her from across the room and then lost sight of her completely for the rest of the night. It had been almost two whole years since they had had a regular conversation, the kind that they had started having just before graduation, the kind that marked them as not just friends, but kindred spirits who found solace in each other's company. At least that's what he hoped. His infatuation, as Sirius liked to call it, had not vanished with time and absence of her, instead it had become stronger than ever, taking over his heart, leaving him with deep affection for the red-haired girl who had haunted his dreams from the tender age of fourteen._

Coming back to the present, James sighed and slumped against his door. He hoped that he was able to handle being near Lily in such close proximity and not do anything stupid that would destroy their friendship. Not only would it be devastating if they weren't even friends anymore, it was crucial for them to trust each other in this mission.

"Oh well," he thought, "I'll just have to make sure that she doesn't find out the effect that she has on me." He kept on repeating that as he headed off to sleep, it was already close to midnight, and they had an early start the next day.

Lily woke up early next morning, feeling slightly disconcerted. She had spent the whole night dreaming about James. Grumbling to herself about stupid gits who don't know when to stop smiling. She stepped out in the hallway to get ready for the grueling day that was ahead of her.

Meanwhile, James who had already been awake for a while, was staring blankly in space. He had had an uncomfortable night, half awake, while memories of Hogwarts tormented him as he tried to fall asleep. Groaning, he stretched his tired muscles and got out of bed. They had a long day ahead of them.

James sat in the padded room that they had arrived in, waiting for Lily. He had caught a glimpse of her as she had gone into her room after using the bathroom, but he hadn't seen her since then. Just then Lily walked into the room.

"Sorry about making you wait, I was trying to decide whether was I hungry enough to eat now or later." Lily muttered. James shook his head, suppressing a smile. He had forgotten about Lily's indecisiveness.

"So what are we doing today?" Lily asked. "Dumbledore had mentioned a week's worth of training or whatever?"

"Yeah, um…about that. Plans have changed, while we were packing yesterday, I received information that we need to move faster, so the week of training is gone. Instead, today, we are going to help each…I don't know how to explain this? But I guess take stock kind of or well okay maybe this will help. I don't know if you learned these back at Hogwarts, but just in case, I am not there with you, it's important you know these hexes and spells."

"Okay that was a little confusing but sure go ahead." Lily replied, smirking. James mock glared at her.

"Shut up, I'm not exactly teacher material you know." Lily stuck her tongue out at him in retaliation. "Real mature, Evans."

"You should know, Potter!" They both burst out laughing, the mock fight reminding both of them of their actual fights in the early days.

"Okay, now down to business." Lily straightened up, with a look of strong determination present on her face.

"You know most of the spells that we're going to need to use, there are just two real ones that we need to go over. The first one is a defensive spell, or more of a healing spell. Just repeat after me, Anapneo!"

Lily repeated after him.

"Good, now I am going to show you the wand movement." He stood up and swished his wand in a circle twice n then jerked it upwards. "Now you try." Lily got up as well and imitated him, "Anapneo!"

"Good pronunciation, but the circling of the wand has to be counter-clockwise, not clockwise and when you move the wand upward, try doing it like this." James put his wand in his pocket, stood behind Lily, putting his hand on her forearm and slightly jerking it up. On the outside, he was cool and collected, just an Auror doing his job. But on the inside, his heart rate seemed to have increased to a hundred while his hands became all cold and clammy. "There you go, that's how you do it." He showed her the wand movement a couple of times, and abruptly removed his hand. As soon as he removed his hand, Lily felt her hand turned chilly compared to the warmth his palm had brought to her arm.

"Okay, let me try again." She took a deep breath, did the wand movement and "Anapneo!" A swirl of green light shot out of her wand and disappeared a couple of feet in front of her.

"Good job Lily!"

"Why did the light just disappear?" she asked, confused.

"Oh I forgot to explain that to you." James laughed. Lily glared at him.

"You would forget to explain the point of the spell!" she admonished.

"This spell clears the airway of a person, so that they can breathe. This is in case something happens to either one of us, well since you'd be the one saying the spell…if something happens to me and I can't breathe, this spell will clear out my airway, allowing me to breathe." He explained.

"Huh. I'm surprised we didn't learn it during Healer training."

"Yeah, I am too. Okay this next one, is a protection spell. This house right now has this spell, it's called the Anti-Intruder Jinx. As the name suggests, it prevents anyone from entering the house without alerting us so we're prepared."

"So basically it's like a higher level magical lock?"

"Basically."

"Sweet, what next?"

"That's it for now. Now you know why the week long training was kind of unnecessary as well? You know how to duel – we learned at Hogwarts. The other spells, you've dealt with them as Head Girl and Healer Training covers the rest."

"Okay, then what's the training for the rest of the day?"

"Nothing."

"What do you mean nothing? You mean that we're going to enter Voldemort's lair without me being prepared?" Lily screeched causing James to wince.

"Lily, I am with you. Just like you have gone through Healer training for two years, I have gone through Auror training for two years as well. I trained with Moody, the best Auror that's ever been out there! Trust me!" he replied earnestly, grabbing her hands, preventing them from flying all over and maybe accidentally knocking his glasses off as she had done in the past.

"But James, what if there comes a time when you aren't with me?" she whispered. "I don't want to die," her voice wavered and James noticed that tears that were threatening to fall from the corner of her eyes.

"Lily, you aren't going to die. If anything happened to you, even a scratch, not only would Annie and Kiera castrate me and then kill me, I assure you that Sirius and Remus would probably dig me back up and then kill me again. And forget those four, don't you have even that much faith in your fellow Gryffindor?" Towards the end, even his voice had dropped to a whisper and his hazel eyes seemed to bore into Lily's emerald ones. James gulped deeply as he felt the tugs of emotion pull against his heart when he saw the fear in her eyes, but then the fear vanished, leaving clarity and understanding.

"I do trust you, I just don't trust _them."_ She replied, still whispering.

"Ha, don't worry." James reluctantly pulled his eyes away from hers. "Most of those Death Eaters are those moronic Slytherins…a requirement for being in that house is being brainless and disgusting along with the smelliest people alive. You do know that the Slytherin dorms didn't really have showers." James spun his tales, exaggerating. Lily forgot about the fear of death and was soon giggling uncontrollably at James's extraordinary stories on the stupidity and dirtiness of the despised Slytherins.

Finally when Lily stopped laughing, and got up from the floor, she turned towards James and said,

"Thank you, James."

"No problem, Lily."

"I am going to go get some food, do you want any?"

"Yeah, go ahead, I'll join you in a couple of minutes." The moment James was sure that Lily was out of sight, he let his smile widen.

"James, are you coming?" Lily shouted from the kitchen, breaking through James dazed expression.

"Yeah, I'm on my way." He yelled back. "Come on Potter, snap out of it." He muttered shaking his head and walking towards the kitchen.

He walked into the kitchen to find the kitchen in a mess, food everywhere, on the ceiling, on the walls.

"Wha…What happened?" he gasped, trying to form words at the disaster that stood in front of him. The worst though was Lily, who was covered from head to toe in some kind of white powder, James correctly assumed it was flour.

"I tried to bake some bread," Lily coughed as the flour got caught in her throat.

"How on earth did this happen? I have seen my Mum bake bread hundreds of times, it's never happened to her." James bit back his lip as he realized that it was the wrong thing to say, Lily had always been touchy about her lack of culinary skills. That was one of her few weaknesses. Lily raised an eyebrow.

"I'm sorry…" James apologized but it was too late. Lily picked up a huge lump of whatever was on her, and James felt it hit his face.

"You're on!" He retorted, and a full-fledged food fight broke apart, with food flying on both sides, with giggles and laughter resonating between the walls.

"Can you believe this mess?" Lily finally stopped throwing food at James, holding her stomach from laughing so much.

"Oh please, this is nothing! You should've seen the one that broke out in my kitchen the summer before fifth year between us boys…Me and Peter against Sirius and Remus." James asked, smiling at the memory of the chocolate coated ceilings mixed with cheese and oranges.

"Who won?" Lily asked, disbelieving that anything could be worse than this.

"I actually don't remember, I don't think it really ended, but Mum walked in at that point…and let's just say it wasn't very pretty." James shuddered as he remembered his Mum's vein pulsating in his forehead, threatening to burst any minute as she alternated between yelling, lecturing and lamenting them for their stupidity and immaturity.

"I bet. You are lucky that she didn't starve you from doing that!" Lily admonished, wondering what demon seemed to possess the four Marauders when they got together.

"That seemed to be her threat, but Dad stepped in at that point and pointed out that that was taking it a little bit too far. Although we didn't get to eat pie that day hmm Sirius whined about it for days." James laughed.

"Remember the food fight that broke out in the kitchens? Well it wasn't really involving us, it was mostly just Sirius and Kiera. I remember her walking into the common room with her sticking together because of the caramel while her hands were covered in some kind of sticky jelly. Oh those were the days!." Lily laughed, wiping away tears of laughter from her eyes as she remembered her best friend fuming because Sirius Black had once again provoked her into an argument which had escalated into a full-blown food fight, creating monsters covered with the remnants of that night's dinner. James chuckled at the memory of Sirius walking into their dormitory covered with gravy and potatoes sticking out his hair, muttering about "some girl who doesn't know when to stop."

"Sirius and Kiera never seemed to get along," James mused as he recalled the numerous fights that had broken out between that duo.

"Yeah, I think they fought the most from our entire house, maybe even all of Hogwarts." Lily replied absent-mindedly.

"I wouldn't say they fought the _most_, I personally think that that title belongs to us," James replied slyly, wondering what her reaction would be.

"No…our getting along the last year kind of canceled all that fighting out," Lily said, embarrassed at the number of times they'd been caught arguing by McGonagall.

"That is the most illogical thing I've ever heard!" James exclaimed, laughing at the absurdness of the statement.

"Yes it is!"

"No, it isn't!"

"Yes, it IS!"

"No, it ISN'T!"

"Yes…are we really arguing about arguing?" Lily asked.

"No, I don't think so."

"Yes, I do think so."

"Lily…" James warned. Lily giggled, and they sat to clean up the mess they had ended up making.

Authors Note: Thanks so much to all of you who take the time to review, it's exciting to see the alerts in my email and it's very gratifying to hear that people are enjoying this. Thanks once again.


	4. Malfoy Residence

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that you recognize.

"James!" Lily called out the next morning. "Where are you?" She wandered around the entire house, finding it deserted. It was as silent as a haunted house without ghouls and banshees yelling, she remembered going to one of them as a small child. "Pathetic comparisons to the real things, Muggles really didn't understand too much magic," She mused. There was only one place left, his room. Taking a deep breath, she had never entered his room at Hogwarts unless it was later on in the day, never during the early hours of morn, it just seemed private and personal to her.

She walked in and stopped abruptly. James lay on his stomach, facing her. He had a lazy smile stretching across his face, it wasn't his usual smile with his eyes twinkling or the smirk he had when he played a prank. It was almost as if he was a little boy playing again without a worry in the world instead of a young man risking his life for the safety of others. Lily didn't know how long she continued staring at him, but when she finally shook herself out of her daze, she knew that something had changed, she didn't know what; all she knew was that something had. She shook herself out of her reverie and walked over to him, but hesitated near his shoulder.

"James, wake up!" she whispered, not wanting to startle him. She kept on trying without avail, he just wouldn't get up. She finally lost her patience. She quickly tiptoed over to the kitchen and grabbed a glass and filled with water with ice cubes floating on the top. She treaded softly across his carpeted floor and when she was as near to the bed as she could possibly she get, she poured the water on his face. His face changed from peaceful to surprised in a matter of seconds. He sat up sputtering as water dripped from his black hair, the water actually flattening his usual messy hair.

"What'd you do that for?" he growled, his voice gravelly with sleep.

"You weren't getting up," Lily chuckled.

"Ever heard of words?" he rebuked.

"I tried, but you slept as if you were dead to the world," she retorted.

"Doesn't mean that you wake somebody up with water! You're lucky that I didn't have my wand near me like I used to do back at Hogwarts, you have no idea how many times Sirius tried that trick on me and how many times I hexed him in return," James replied, still grouchy from being awoken in such a rude manner. Lily giggled; she'd never seen him like this. Usually, he was always happy, serious or angry, never irritated or annoyed in front of her. James glared at her as goose bumps appeared on his hands from the ice cubes melting.

"Aren't you going to get up?" Lily whined.

"Why do you need me to get up?" James asked, getting out of bed. Lily blushed, she hadn't realized that he wasn't wearing a shirt. Trying hard to keep her gaze averted from below his neck, she mumbled,

"I was wondering what we were doing today…and I was hungry." James let out a bark of laughter, while wondering what had suddenly overcome her and made her so shy. When he saw her quickly take a peek at his chest, he smirked, realizing the cause of her discomfort.

"So…Lily, you like what you see?" he asked, taking a couple of steps until he was right in front of her, where if she wanted she could put her hand out and touch him. Lily gulped at the proximity of him.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she stuttered determinedly, not wanting to let him see the affect this had on her. She quickly looked down at her feet, hoping that he would forget about it and walk away, but James wasn't James for anything.

"Uh huh…I don't believe you. Look at me, Lily," he grabbed her chin and forced her to look at him. Once again, Lily felt herself drawn to his hazel eyes while he realized he was drowning in her emerald eyes once again. Lily felt her heart beating faster, and her hitched breathing become louder. Just as she thought she was about to lose all sense and lean toward him, she felt a shocking sensation of cold slide down her neck. That's when she realized that while she lost all sense of time and space, he had sneaked up an ice cube and put it down her back.

"AAaahh!" she screamed, as she tried to remove the ice cube before it melted and made her clothes wet. "James!" she shrieked and tried to catch him, but he was too fast for her. He jumped off his bed and ran to the other side, and when she tried to follow him, he just went over to the opposite side. She sat down, trying to get the ice cube out, but it wouldn't come out.

"Can you help me? It's melting against my skin and I'm FREEZING!" she snarled. James laughed.

"Now you know how I felt when you dumped a dozen on me…and when I was sleeping too on top of that."

"Just get it out." Still laughing, James retrieved the thin slab of ice that remained from the middle of her back. Shaking her shoulders like a dog, Lily removed the "wet" sensation and turned to glare at James, however before she could start her tirade, James interrupted.

"Didn't you say you were hungry? What does that have anything to do with me?"

"Yesterday, when I tried cooking, I made a mess of things. I was hoping that maybe you could take over and cook instead today…so we could actually get some edible food." Lily muttered, not wanting to emphasize on her lack of cooking. That had always been a sore point with her, especially since Petunia was an amazing cook and she could barely make a slice of toast without burning it. James chuckled but quickly turned it into a cough at Lily's glare.

"Today is a big day for the mission. We're going to go and call on our neighbors," James changed the subject, trying to avoid Lily's eye so he wouldn't start grinning again.

"Neighbors?" Lily asked, confused.

"Yep, the Malfoys." And with that statement, James stalked out of the room, leaving Lily behind with her jaw hanging open, wondering how on earth the Malfoys were their neighbors.

Lily sat in the kitchen, waiting for James to come out of his shower so she could finally get breakfast. She could feel the rats crawling around in her stomach, eating away at her stomach lining, eroding away her skin! At least that's what it felt like to her idle mind that was now thinking about Annie's pot roasts and her mashed potatoes.

"There you are!" she exclaimed as James finally walked into the kitchen. James raised an eyebrow at her excitement.

"Sheesh Lily, are you really that hungry?" James asked, grinning madly.

"You are enjoying this aren't you?"

"Of course…when was the last time I was better at you than something…other than pranks of course?"

"Transfiguration." She muttered. James laughed loudly.

"True. Well, that brings me to today. I know I told you that we were going to go visit the Malfoys today so…"

"Um yeah, about that. Why? How? What? Where? When? Why?" Lily rambled, her curiosity finally getting the better of her.

"Whoa, slow down. One question at a time. Why so that we can become Death Eaters. How, that's where the transfiguration comes in. What, we're visiting the Malfoys. When, is later on in the day."

"I am so lost. I hope you realize that. This is more complicated than when McGonagall tried to explain human transfiguration, and I still didn't get it. How is possible to change people's facial features with Transfiguration?"

"Aha, Lily you are amazing. You are leading right into what I have to discuss with you. But, I don't know if you're hungry or not, but I'm starving. While I explain today to you, I am going to make us some breakfast. Eggs?" Lily nodded.

"Okay, so remember when I said that we were going to become Death Eaters? Well, we can't exactly just walk into Voldemort's ranks and say that we believe in their cause. Well, mostly you can't…you know being that you're Muggle-born. They would probably kill you on the spot."

"So what are we going to do?" Lily interrupted once again. James frowned at her, while he tried to concentrate on the eggs in the front of him.

"We are going to change your looks. Let's go over our cover story, you need to know it really well. Remember, if we make a mistake in this story, it won't be detention with Filch. Instead, it will be our death. So, I am James Potter, obviously and you are my wife, we're just newly wed which is why they haven't heard of you before. But for us to actually get inside there, we're going to have to change the way you look, because I am 100 sure actually make that 150 sure that ex-Hogwarts students have joined Voldemort's ranks and they are sure to recognize you. Nobody misses an intelligent red-haired prefect who was one of the smartest witches that Hogwarts ever had." Lily blushed at this description, but James continued without noticing. "Since we don't anybody to recognize you, I am going to have to Transfigure your looks."

"How are you going to explain your sudden desire to join them? It was pretty clear back at school what you thought of them and their activities?" Lily wrinkled her nose in distaste as she remembered the countless fights she had had to break up between the Marauders and the Slytherins over the pure-blood issue.

"Don't worry, I have my story planned out." James left it at that. Lily prodded him for more information, but he remained silent.

"So anyways, we're going to go in and just you know casually bring up. You don't really have to do anything, just stand next to me and look pretty."

"Why, don't you think that I can handle this?" Lily asked in a menacing tone. James quickly realized where this was heading, and was quick to reassure the fiery-tempered girl.

"No, that's not it. It would just look out of place if a woman spoke out too much in the presence of her husband. That's old pure-blooded nonsense that these fools probably believe in." Slightly mollified, Lily continued listening. Even though she put up an appearance of being angry, she had felt slightly hurt when she thought that James didn't think her capable enough to handle herself in dangerous situations such as these.

"So all I have to do there is stand there and look pretty?" Lily asked.

"Basically." James turned around and with a flourish of his hands, he set a plate down in front of Lily. On it were eggs and bacon, in the shape of a smiley face.

"Cute James, it reminds me of what my Mum used to do for me when I was sick…when I was four." Lily teased. James shrugged his shoulders.

"It's what Mum used to do for me…last month." Lily giggled at the image of this full-six foot person eating a smiley face made of eggs and bacon.

"Eat up Lily. Once we're done, let the Transfiguration begin!"

They were back in the padded room, ready to embark on the journey of transforming Lily into an unrecognizable person. Lily sat on a chair in the middle of the room, while James stood in front of her, looking at her face thoughtfully. Squirming under the intense stare, Lily kept on grumbling.

"Are you done? Have you figured it out?"

"Quiet!" James finally replied, his lips in a thin line. For a moment, Lily thought he was actually mad, but then she realized that it was an impeccable imitation of Professor McGonagall whenever she had caught a Gryffindor house student misbehaving. Suppressing a smile under James's glare, Lily stared off into empty space. She didn't know for how long she just sat there, her mind drawing a complete blank, being completely relaxed for the first time in a while.

"Okay, I think I've finally got it." James said, breaking into her reverie.

"Got what?" Lily questioned, a little confused at the abrupt change.

"Your appearance?" James asked, sending her a confused look. Lily stood up and waited there patiently, as James closed his eyes and tried to remember the spells. He opened his eyes, and then muttering some words that sounded like gibberish to Lily, he waved his wand over her hair, all the way down to her legs.

"I don't feel any differenceeee…" Lily shrieked as she felt tugs throughout her body. Suddenly, the floor seemed so much lower than what it had before, and she looked down and saw that three inches of her ankles were being seen in a pair of jeans that normally fit her perfectly. Gripping her head as she normally did in moments of unease, she realized that her normal ponytail was gone. Abandoning all semblances of calm, she ran to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. All that came out was a gasp. She didn't see a green-eyed, medium height, red-haired girl. Instead, she saw a tall woman with fair skin and startling gray eyes. Even though she knew that it was really herself, she couldn't believe it. Her whole life, whatever insecurities she had had about her looks seemed to have been repaired by this incantation that James had waved towards her.

"Do you like it?" James asked, coming up behind Lily. Lily swirled around so quickly that she ended up slipping and closed her eyes, ready to feel the hard floor against her face, but instead, she felt firm hands gripping her shoulders and pulling her upright. When she opened her eyes, she realized that she was extremely close to James, but then she noticed that something was different. His normal hazel eyes weren't exactly hazel anymore, they had dark specks in them that seemed to be swirling, almost hypnotizing her. Feeling uncomfortable under his stare, Lily shrugged herself out of his arms and turned around, looking in the mirror again.

"Do you like it?" James repeated.

"Yeah, it's everything that I could've ever wanted." Lily replied, looking at James. An unfathomable expression crossed James's face, but before Lily could remark upon it, it vanished, leaving behind his normal impassive look.

"I'm glad." He replied shortly.

"I'm going to go change, and I suggest you do the same. It's time to go visit the Malfoys."

"Wait, what am I going to wear? I don't have anything that fits me. Everything is going to be too short for me." Lily commented, looking at her tall frame, she was taller than James's shoulder now, an idea that she had only dreamed of during those first couple of years at Hogwarts when she had been constantly teased for her miniature size.

"Oh yeah, that's right." Screwing his eyebrows in concentration, James conjured up a dress and gave it to Lily.

"Thanks."

"No problem."

Lily looked at the dress in front of her, it wasn't anything fancy. In fact, it was the complete opposite of what she had in mind about James's likes and dislikes. It was a simple black dress that would go till her knees, tying around her neck to the back, with a white sash around her waist. Holding it up to her face, she rubbed it across her cheek, treasuring the silky and smooth sensation it brought. Remembering that they had to leave soon, she quickly changed her clothes.

Lily looked at herself in the mirror, she still couldn't believe it was her. It wasn't even the new face, hair or height anymore, it was a combination of that and the dress. It made her feel older, more sophisticated than she ever had. She had no idea how long she stood there in the mirror staring at herself, but she was shaken from her daydream by James's voice.

"Lily? Are you okay in there?" he asked. Lily shook her head, he was always so paranoid. She opened the door to see James's concerned face looming over her.

"Sorry…I was admiring the effect the dress had on me." She murmured. As James took a step back, Lily noticed him really for the first time. He was in simple dress pants and a dress shirt, but it made him look much older and sophisticated as well. His face was serious, without a trace of mischief in his eyes.

"Are you ready?" James asked. Lily nodded, not being able to speak.

_"I wonder why…"_ she thought as they walked out of their house. For the first time in two days, Lily saw something else other than the house that they were staying in. As she and James walked down their front lawn, she noticed that James had picked a desolated area to move into. There didn't seem to be a soul living around them, all she could see was green grass for miles.

"James…where are we?" she exclaimed. James laughed, he'd forgotten that Lily didn't know the full plan yet.

"I know that it seems as if we're in the middle of nowhere…and well, we kind of are. But the Malfoys live here nearby, well it's one of their many homes. We're going to go and visit Lucius Malfoy and his wife, Narcissa."

"Narcissa as in Bellatrix Black's sister and Sirius's cousin?" Lily asked incredulously, not believing that the magical world could be connected in such tangled webs of bloodlines.

"The one and only."

"Wow."

"Yeah, well they don't live too far away from here, but I didn't want to go close enough to them where they could probably send someone to spy on us or anything like that." Lily nodded, appreciating James's paranoia for once. It wouldn't be very conducive to the well-being if they were caught on this mission.

"Okay, so now we're going to apparate to this little clearing near their house. Grab my hand." James looked around furtively, they were still standing outside their "house." Lily rolled her eyes, as if anyone would be there in a place this devoid of civilization. Lily held his hand, and she felt her world whirl upside down.

"Oof." Lily landed on something soft and squishy.

"Get off me, Lily." James groaned from Lily's weight.

"Oohhh James, I'm so sorry." Lily blushed, jumping off him and helping him stand. "What happened? Why did we fall?"

"Probably because … I don't know… maybe it was something to do with how we Apparated, I don't know." James replied, brushing his pants off. Lily made sure her dress was cleaned and turned to look at James and burst out laughing.

It was as if a bird had created a nest in his hair. His hair was always all over the place, but with pieces of hay and twigs, it looked as if a bird was going to swoop down any moment and lay an egg. His glasses were half off, balancing precariously on his nose.

"What?" James asked, glaring, but the glare had the opposite effect on Lily. She found it even funnier.

"Here." Lily reached out and straightened his glasses.

"Oh…so that's why I couldn't see very well." Lily rolled her eyes while trying to hide a smile as she picked out the leaves and twigs from James's hair.

"There, now you resemble a human being somewhat." Lily teased.

"Whatever." James stuck his tongue out at her.

"So where to now?"

"We are on our way down this path, and it leads us to the Malfoy residence."

The two walked along in amiable silence, both deep in their own thoughts.

_"I wonder what Annie and Kiera are doing right now. I've never gone this long since third year without having some sort of communication with them. I hope that they're okay…not killing each other without me mediating their stupid fights." _Lily thought, missing her friends desperately. _"I hope that Mum and Dad don't worry too much either…I had told them that I was doing some Healing work but still, it's been so long since I've gone home. The first thing that I am going to do when this mission is over is to go home and stay with them for a couple of days. I miss Mum's cooking and hearing Dad's laugh…I miss them."_

_"Moment we get back, the Marauders are going to have a reunion. It has been way too long since we've hung out, just the four us, without the stress of saving the wizarding world, one Death Eater at a time. I wonder how this is going to work out, hopefully we come out of it unscathed. I hope that Lily_

_handles their cruel remarks against Muggles all right, it's always been really hard for her to hide her feelings, and it's going to be really important that she doesn't let them know that we're not Anti-Muggles!"_

Lily stopped abruptly. In front of her stood this grotesque mansion with looming arches that seemed to spiral out towards the sky. Dark clouds lay over the house, making it seem even gloomier than it already is.

"It fits the stereotype completely." James muttered.

"Huh?" Lily asked, confused.

"Gloomy weather, ugly house…perfect environment for some trouble to broil." James continued. "Are you ready?" he asked, looking at Lily worriedly for a second.

Lily composed her face into the impassive expression that she had seen the Marauders do plenty of times, especially when they were close to getting into trouble and nodded her head determinedly. They both briskly walked up the cobbled pathway. Mentally, Lily noticed that even though their "house" was in a deserted area, it was much more attractive than this manor, at least more appealing to the eye and definitely cozier and more comfortable, at least from the outside.

They reached the front door, and on the large oak door hung a brass knocker in the shape of a basilisk.

"Okay, before I knock, your name is Alicia, I will handle the rest of it. Most of these people don't expect their wives to interact too much with other people so you'll be okay just standing there next to me."

"Of course they would have a knocker in the form of Slytherin's animal, what a pretty and cuddly creature it is." James added sarcastically. Lilly giggled, but immediately straightened her face as she saw the door being opened.

A stern looking man stood in front of them, his white beard almost reaching his waist. James was immediately reminded of Albus Dumbledore but when he compared the smiling Dumbledore to this stern man, he changed his mind. Exchanging a glance with Lily, he realized that even she had thought the same thing but then changed her mind as well.

"Yes?" he asked in a croaky voice.

"We're the new neighbors who moved in to that house over the hill, and we thought we'd just come and acquaint ourselves. I believe the Malfoys live here?" James introduced himself smoothly.

"Yes."

"We've heard so much about them, especially about their support of the Dark Lord." There, James had said it, the magic words. Now he held his breath, wondering what would happen next.

"Come in, I will take you to meet the Master and Mistress." James and Lilly followed him, Lily assumed he was the butler. They followed him down a hallway with marble walls. Even though Lily could see several fires lit along the way, the animal heads hanging on the walls chilled her. Involuntarily, she stepped closer to James. James noticed the movement from the corner of his eye and realized the source of her discomfort, and in response, gave her what he hoped was a reassuring smile. Abruptly, the butler stopped and Lily almost walked into him, but she stopped herself just in time.

"Master and Mistress are in here." The butler remarked in a stately manner and leaving James and Lily standing there in the stone hallway, alone.

"You ready?" Lily whispered. James nodded yes, and both walked into the room that the butler had pointed towards, as if preparing themselves for battle. The moment they walked in, Lily felt a sense of cold terror descending upon herself and she willed her hands to stop trembling.

"Yes?" a cold and silky voice drawled out.

"Hello Lucius." James said strongly. Lily looked up to see a man with pale blond hair sitting on a dais next to a thin woman with a pointed nose. Lily was automatically reminded of Bellatrix, Narcissa was a couple of years younger than her.

"Well, well, what is a Potter doing in my house…unless he's inviting himself to a painful and cruel death?" Lily felt a rush of anger at James's defense. The Potters were known throughout the wizarding world for their stance against Voldemort and his antics, they were one of the pure-blooded families who hadn't decided to follow the madness. Lily expected James to rebuke Malfoy smartly, but he let the snide remark pass by.

"I decided that I don't exactly believe in my parent's policies on this whole pure-blooded issue, and I was hoping that maybe…we could let bygones be bygones and just start fresh. My and my new wife, Alicia have just moved into the small house over the hill and we just thought we'd come and pay our respects as friendly neighbors." James explained. Lily held her breath, wondering if the Malfoys would believe their story. Lucius stood and stalked over to them. He stared at James for a couple of seconds and then his gaze traveled over to Lily. His eyes narrowed and James felt a sharp stab of fear. Had he somehow missed one of Lily's features…could Lucius recognize who it was…could he recognize her for a Muggle-born? But his fear died down as Lucius nodded and then turned around and gestured his wife to step forward.

"This is my wife Narcissa. Narcissa, these are the Potters."

"Hello, how do you do?" Narcissa said politely, extending her hand towards Lily. Fortunately, Lily found the ability to reply,

"Fine, thank you. How about you?"

"It's such an exciting time to be living…especially with Dark Lord ascending to power, killing off those worthless Muggles." The whole time he kept his eyes trained on James to notice any signs of anger, but only as a true Marauder could, James kept his bland expression that gave away nothing. However, if he had looked at Lily, he would see her hands clenched so tight that they were turning white from the lack of blood flow. In what seemed like a casual gesture of affection, James grabbed one of Lily's hands and squeezed it tightly while trying to unclench her fingers. Lily expected him to let go when she had finally calmed down, but he held on.

"_Probably to make sure that I don't blow this whole mission…" _she thought gloomily.

"We're sorry to just barge in like this, we just wanted to get to know the area and all the people who live here." James apologized.

"Oh don't worry about it. It's always nice to meet the proper wizards who understand what magic is really all about. In fact, why don't you come over for dinner tomorrow night? We'll introduce you to some of our friends." Malfoy suggested. James could hardly contain his excitement, it would be the perfect opportunity to discover who the traitor was.

"We'd love that, thank you so much." James thanked. Lily smiled at Lucius who just nodded in return and when she turned towards Narcissa who finally raised her head, Lily met her eye to eye. What she felt at the eye contact shocked her, she wasn't repulsed or disgusted as she normally had when Bellatrix had looked her in the eye or when she saw Narcissa in the background of the Slytherin cronies. Instead, she saw another woman who didn't seem very comfortable with the situation either.

"Okay, let's go Alicia." Lily turned mutely and followed James out of the room, feeling Lucius Malfoy's eyes seeming to bore into her back. As they turned around the corner into the stone hallway, she almost let out a sigh of relief but there stood the butler, waiting for them to leave the house. James seemed to be deep in his own thoughts, so Lily averted her eyes from the heads hung on the walls and kept her eyes on the ground. The moment they stepped out of the house and they walked off Malfoy property, Lily felt herself loosening up automatically and she saw James wipe away a sheen of sweat from his forehead.

"That was…" she ventured.

"Quite an experience. I don't think I've ever been that scared when he came to look at you." Lily laughed nervously, she had been terrified and she was sure that Malfoy had heard her bones rattling as she had tried to stop her trembling. They walked towards their house in silence for a couple of minutes when James spoke abruptly.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" Lily asked, bewildered.

"For not really letting you talk. I know that it may have seemed that it was a very chauvinistic thing to do…but I couldn't let you talk."

"Yeah because of the whole stupid females not really having an opinion that a lot of these old-fashioned families have." Lily reasoned.

"Well that too. But honestly, and I have to be honest here, I'd promised you honesty years before and even if I hadn't, I actually didn't want you to."

"Why?" Lily asked, curbing the sharp shoot of anger she had felt at that remark. James smiled wryly, as if he knew the struggle that Lily was going through to control her temper.

"It's not because I don't think that you're good enough to handle situations like these in this kind of pressure…it's just that, I don't know I guess I wanted to make sure that nothing would be said to make Lucius suspect that it was really you. He knows you from Hogwarts you know, he's only a couple of years older than us." Stopping, James stooped on a boulder. Lily joined him and they sat there in silence.

"It's not that you're not good enough or that you don't have the skills, even though I know it seems that way. I do think that you're very capable of handling yourself, I just want to protect you. I want to make sure that I return you to your parents and friends in one piece, without any physical scars as evidence to what you went through. I want to be able to look at you in ten years when we cross each other in the street and know that I did everything in my power to keep you safe, to keep you alive."

"I'm not a china doll that breaks so easily you know," Lily answered shakily.

"I know that, but maybe that's even more the reason why. I can't explain it, it's kind of like all those times at Hogwarts when every time Sniv…er I mean Snape, he would call you Mudblood, I would feel as if I wanted to march over to him that very second and beat him to the ground, leaving behind nothing that would remind me of his horrible existence or anything that could torment you anymore. Wait, let me explain." James put up his hand to prevent Lily from interrupting him. "I know that it didn't even remotely bother you as much as it bothered me, but the idea is still the same. Just as back then, I would do anything in my power to keep you safe, even today, I would do the same."

"Why?" Lily whispered.

"Don't you know, Lily? After all these years?" James stared at Lily, gazing into her eyes. Lily felt as if her heart was alternating between beating too fast and skipping heartbeats completely as he looked at her, patiently waiting for an answer.

"Don't you?" He repeated.

AN: Hey guys, thanks so much for the reviews. They really are a great motivation for me to keep writing and working on this story. I'm not sure if I made it clear enough in the chapter, but when Lily meets Narcissa's eyes, it refers to the part in Deathly Hallows – SPOILER to those who haven't read it, when she asks Harry whether Draco is alive. I guess its kind of an indication of the fact that she's not completely heartless as Bellatrix is portrayed to be, and that there are more important things in her life than Voldemort.


	5. Trust

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that you recognize.

James stared at his ceiling, lying on his bed for what seemed like hours, days, months, maybe even eternity. His mind just kept on replaying when he had been so close to finally revealing the depth of his true feelings to Lily, and she had turned away without answering his question. They had walked home in silence, and gone to their separate rooms immediately without even glancing at each other.

"That was over three hours ago," James noted wryly, looking at the clock. Not a sound could be heard throughout the entire house, except for his relaxed breathing that was lulling him to a light torpor but thoughts of Lily would waken him up again.

The door opened slowly, and James jerked up, staring at the door as it opened completely, and Lily stepped in, wringing her hands nervously.

"Can I sit down?" she asked softly. James nodded, and as she gingerly sat down on the corner of his bed, he pulled himself up so he was leveled with her. They sat there in silence for a couple of minutes, their elbows barely touching yet the room was filled with such intensity that it blew James's mind away. James sat there patiently, even though he had so many questions to ask that he was surprised they didn't just spill out his mouth. He knew that when Lily was ready, she would talk. He didn't have to wait too long.

"Do you remember our last year at Hogwarts?" she asked, picking a loose thread from his blanket.

"What about it?" James asked, confused.

"Just like…what do you think of when someone says your seventh year at Hogwarts?"

"I'm not sure where you're going with this but okay. I think of some of the best times of my life that I had with the Marauders, playing pranks and just hanging out. We've done it for six years but before that, but those were even more special because we knew that it was probably some of the last times we would ever be this carefree and free of burdens because of the war. I think of NEWTs…those painfully excruciating exams that even had Sirius studying when he had vowed never to study for an exam all the way in the first year. I think of being Head Boy and Quidditch Captain, of seeing my parents' proud faces when I received the letters during the summer." When James stopped talking, Lily spoke up.

"Is that it?"

"No…I think you." Lily looked up at this, her mouth widening slightly; this was unexpected. "I think of how after six years of fighting, we finally became friends, at least that's what I like to think so. We started talking to each other, and I mean really talking, not just the screaming and shouting matches that we used to have. We started listening to what the other person has to say, dare I say it, I think we even started trusting each other. And that was something I had wanted from the very beginning. I know that I didn't always show it with my pranks and my provocation towards you, but I swear Lily, I just wanted to get to know you and for you to trust me."

"I never realized." Lily replied, a little dazed. James chuckled.

"I know, I kind of figured it over the years."

"Then…why did you always you know…keep on asking…" Lily faltered, not sure if she should continue or not.

"You mean my keeping on asking you out?" James helped her out. "Have you ever met a person and just sort of connected? It's kind of like it doesn't matter that you don't really know them or that you haven't even really talked to them, but you just **know** that somehow, the two of you are connected? That somehow, the two of you are special together, that it's destiny? Normally, I don't believe in this destiny and fate nonsense, I refuse to believe that we don't have a say over our fate, our choices have to make a difference. But with you, I remember the first time that I saw you. You were standing outside the Hogwarts Express, looking so nervous and for some reason, I felt this insane urge to go over there and talk to you. I don't know why, but I just walked over, but because I was so confused about this pull that you had towards me, the first thing that came out of my mouth was…"

"Hey carrot-top." Lily finished his sentence, blushing at the memory.

"Yeah, I know, what a smooth way to start a conversation with a pretty girl. It was as if first you were a good target for pranks and after that, I just wanted a reason to come and talk to you. Coming to you for homework help didn't always work because I never really did too much of it back then, so the only excuse I had for any sort of interaction with you was by pranking you. Little did my eleven and twelve year old mind know that by playing pranks on you then, I was basically signing my fate of having no interaction with you in the later years unless absolutely necessary. Right until the middle of seventh year, I paid for my misguided efforts. It's amazing how many times Remus told me to stop, but I never listened, thinking that if I backed off then, how would you ever get a chance to know me? Funny thing was…that wasn't really me." James sighed. Lily took it all in, listening to James talk.

"Nobody managed to get to me like you did. And it wasn't always anger, it was as if your presence was a constant reminder of the fact that you were present in my life. I hated the idea of you being around me earlier on, but starting seventh year, I came to appreciate it. It's there with me till today, when we are at a party, I know that you are there from the moment you probably enter the room. I felt the same connection back at the platform too. I didn't know who you were, I just saw you from the corner of my eye and just registered your presence in my subconscious. I always thought it was because I was in a new place, and a whole new world. But even now, nine years later, the sense is still there, instead of going away, it's intensified!" Lily finished. James looked at her. He opened his mouth to say something, but then changed his mind almost immediately and shut it, hoping that Lily didn't notice. But Lily was too quick and noticed it.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing," he mumbled.

"James…here I just spilled my heart out to you after all these years of not really talking that much, so just go ahead and say it. What can possibly embarrass either one of us any more?" she asked, sensibly.

"Do you remember the kiss that we shared?" James asked, speaking in an uncharacteristically soft voice. Lily froze, she was hoping he wouldn't bring that up. It hadn't been mentioned it over three years, she didn't even think anybody knew about it except for the two of them.

"No, I don't." she lied, hoping he would drop the subject. A look of hurt flashed in James's eyes before he covered it with his usual impassive look. He was about to change the subject, but then changed his mind.

"Oh, I do remember it." He continued talking in that soft voice, his eyes almost faraway in a distant memory.

_He remembered it almost as if it was yesterday. He was sitting in the Heads Common Room, trying to concentrate on the upcoming NEWTS, but his mind kept on wandering to various subjects such as Quidditch, Lily, the Marauders, Lily, Snape and Lily once again. Just the, the object of his attention walked in, her face tightly controlled._

_"What's wrong?" he automatically asked, noticing the way her lips were set in a straight line and the way her eyes flashed anger, but for once, not towards him._

_"Those stupid Slytherins! They just…aaag…how dare she…who does she…why do I have to…AAAAHHHH!" Lily shrieked in frustration as papers went flying all around her._

_"Yeah…because that made so much sense." James replied calmly, hoping that Lily would clue in to the tone of his voice and calm down as well._

_"You don't understand James!"  
"Obviously."_

_"No, like you really don't understand! They don't pester you for being a Muggle…a person inferior to them. You are pure-blooded just like them."_

_"Yeah I know but still that doesn't mean anything."_

_"You are pure-blooded just like them." Lily repeated to herself, as if she had just discovered that fact._

_"Yes Lily, you already said that but what does that matter? You shouldn't let them get to you."_

_"James…do you think that what they say is true?" Lily asked in a small voice. James looked at her, aghast that she could even think such a thing. "I can tolerate it when they say it, but if even you…" she broke off, her voice shaking a little bit. James walked over to her and sat down next to her on the couch, and put an arm around her._

_"No, Lily, never. I would never think that anybody is inferior to me…well unless they really are you know in Quidditch or in good looks…" he joked._

_"Prat." Lily muttered, elbowing him in the stomach, but still smiling._

_"Ouch." James laughed. "But anyways, no really, don't let them get to you. You are better than them in everything school wise, you're one of the smartest girls in our year…heck probably one of the smartest girls that Hogwarts has ever seen. You have friends who would kill for you…instead of killing you, okay sorry, my little joke. You have Annie, Kiera, Remus, Sirius, Peter and for what it counts, you even have me on your side. I promise you…with the five of us…you're not really lacking much. I mean, between us we have brains of course which comes from Remus, sense and rationality coming from Annie, mischief and fun from Kiera and Sirius, and with Peter comes loyalty. And with me…"_

_"What about you James?" Lily asked, turning to face him, her eyes shining from the glow from the fire dancing in the fireplace._

_"From me you have…" love, James thought, care, affection, anything you could possibly ask for, only if you open your eyes and see that it's in front of you. "From me…you have good lucks, all the ones I mentioned, and there's one thing really important…that none of them have…" James dropped down to a whisper, building the suspense._

_"What?" Lily asked, confused._

_"A sense of humor!" James joked and sprung on her, tickling her ribs. Lily struggled, trying to kick him but it seemed as if his hands were everywhere. She flailed against the couch until James finally stopped, bending over in laughter._

_"That was NOT funny!" Lily exclaimed, trying to maintain an angry stance._

_"Oh come on Lily, you know that it was…I don't think I've ever seen your legs move that way. Are they this wild when you're swimming?" James teased. Lily was about to retort, but she had another idea. She slid over to James, until their knees were almost touching and turned to face him._

_"You know James, why don't we behave in a more adult-like manner? After all, we're leaving Hogwarts this year and going out there in the real world, if we continue acting like this, what are people going to say?"_

_"They are going to say that we know how to have fun and aren't stick-in-the mud type of people whose only goal in life is to lead a respectable one." James remarked firmly, raising his eyes towards the ceiling as if speaking to some celestial authority there. "You watch…" Which is why he didn't notice Lily's hand sneaking behind her and suddenly, WHAM!_

_Lily struck James's face with a pillow and his glasses fell off lopsided._

_"Hey!" he yelled as he grabbed a pillow from behind him._

_"Pillow fight!" Lily shrieked as the two of them continued hitting each other, not caring about the mess that they were making with feathers flying everywhere._

_Once the pillows were completely flattened and snowy feathers covered almost the whole common room._

_James flopped down on the ground exhausted, and Lily followed him. She looked at James and started laughing uncontrollably. James frowned, wondering what had suddenly overcome Lily._

_"Er Lily…I didn't hit you that hard on the head did I that you have gone bonkers?" James asked, worried that he had made the Head Girl insane._

_"No James…" Lily hiccoughed. "You have feathers all over your hair, you look like an old man!" she let out a peal of laughter._

_"What?" James asked, trying to shake the feathers out by shaking his head like a shaggy dog. This made Lily laugh even harder. When she finally calmed down a little bit and realized that he wasn't really succeeding in getting rid of all the white feathers that had decided to stick in his already messy hair, she crawled over to him, still giggling softly._

_"There," she said, "There's the last one." She plucked the last feather out and looked at James's face to see him staring at her. It wasn't the type of look that she had ever seen from him before, his normally hazel eyes were darkening to almost an olive green and his lips were curving gently upward, but not yet breaking out into his normal smile or grin._

_"James…" she half whispered, but before she could continue, James bent down and gently pulled a stray feather that had gotten stuck into her red hair, standing out. Lily stared at him, wondering what had happened to him and how he had managed to change from a laughing teenager into this contemplative boy who was looking at her with such intensity that her heart started pounding very loud; she was sure that he could hear it thumping against her chest._

_"Lily" James whispered back but before Lily could reply, he swooped down and claimed her lips. For about a millisecond, Lily was so shocked that she froze but then her heart took over her mind and she put her hands around his neck and held him close._

_Neither of them had any idea how long they stood there, but James finally pulled away, afraid that he had scared her. Instead of letting go of her neck though, he closed his eyes and rested his forehead on hers, breathing in the scent of her shampoo mixed with something unidentifiable. It just suited Lily. Finally, James spoke._

_"Before you hex me…I just wanted to say that I have wanted to do that for the longest time, probably before I even talked to you. I want it Lily, I want it all, and only with you. I just hope that you feel the same." Hearing this, Lily's heart skipped a beat and her mouth turned dry. She pulled away from his embrace and looked up at him. _

"_We're a perfect fit, I fit right under his chin." She thought, but then scolded herself, "Evans what are you thinking? This cannot be happening." _

"_James…" she spoke out loud. James looked up at her, his face etched with fear._

"_Wait, Lily, before you say anything, I don't expect anything from you. It was just something that was done. Not all actions have to have consequences, sometimes they are done just for the sake of being done. It was just something that we did, don't worry about it, it was just an action." Lily didn't look convinced, she searched James's face for any signs of distress, but he seemed collected. Slowly, she nodded her assent._

"_Go to bed Lily, you've had a long day and probably an even longer night." He said calmly. She slowly towards her room, her knees wobbling. As she opened the door, she turned back to see James clearing up the common room as if he didn't have a care in this world, as if he hadn't just kissed her like she had never been, as if there was no tomorrow. She walked into her room and shut the door. She slid down, her back rested against the door and whispered to herself,_

"_We both know that it wasn't just an action James."_

_Outside, still standing in the common room, James stopped clearing up the mess and picked up the one feather he hadn't thrown away. It was the same feather that had been stuck in Lily's hair. He clenched his fist around it, and put it in his pocket for safe-keeping. Then, slowly he sat down on the couch, and rested his face in the palm of his hands, breathing deeply, trying to figure out how an innocent night of fun turned into such a memorable one._

Back in the present, James looked at the photo frame that he had hung up on his wall. To any observer, it was just a normal fixture in a guy's room, holding pictures of his parents and best mates. Only James knew that behind the pictures was a feather that he had cherished for almost three years.

"James?" Lily asked, waving her hand in front of his face. "You had me worried there for a second when you spaced out. It was almost as if you were in a different world." She commented.

"I was," he murmured. Lily raised a questioning eyebrow, but James shook his head to indicate to her to drop the subject.

They sat there in silence for a couple of minutes. Lily wondered what had taken over James so much that he hadn't heard her speak to him even when she was sitting right next to him. It wasn't the normal amiable silence that they were used to, instead it was a silence heavy with things left unsaid that needed to be said. Lily decided that she would take the first step.

"You told me what you think of when somebody mentions seventh year, but you didn't ask what I think of when someone mentions that year. I think of all these memories that I've made with Annie and Kiera, but I've been doing that since first year because you know, we were best friends and we were also room mates for six years. But seventh year, something changed, I had a new person come into my life, a person who changed me and help shape who I am today. Whether for good or bad James, you have always played a role, and that hasn't changed even today. Besides my parents and the girls, you are the only stable person, the one person who is consistent, who I know I can go to when needed. I may not talk to you every day or even every month, but at the back of my mind, you're always there, it's like you're a nagging parent telling me not to do certain things, except in your case, I hear "Take a risk, Lily," or "You can do it." Instead of "Young lady, don't you dare do that!" It's as if you're as much a part of me that any of them are, and even two years away from you hasn't changed that."

James looked up at her, hardly believing his ears.

"You still manage to get on my nerves with your jokes or your huge ego that seems to suck all the oxygen out of the room that you are in, but none of that stops you from being a good friend to me. Yes, you are egoistic but for the important things like loyalty and caring, you're as humble as the next person. Yes, you joke around, but when needed be, I have never met anybody more serious than you. And I don't think that I would trust anybody to just take me anywhere without letting me know the whole plan beforehand because I **know** that I don't need to. You will do it, you will do everything in your power to make sure that nothing happens to either of us. There are very few people in my life whom I trust so much. Remember, back at Hogwarts, that one night when I came into our common room frustrated because the Slytherins were mocking me? And you told me what all our friends contributed and you're right about all of it, but you missed a really big one. You bring trust, and that is the most stable foundation any friendship can have." Lily sighed with relief. "I've been wanting to say this for a while, but it never seemed the right time. Thank you, for allowing me to trust you, and not breaking that trust. And thank you, for teaching me to trust myself and rely on my instincts when they kick in and not ignore them."

"Lily…do you ever wonder what would have happened if this war hadn't happened? If we weren't here…where would you be in life?" James asked, not looking at Lily.

"I think that I would still be a Healer, I obviously wouldn't be here with you, but I would definitely be a Healer. Healing a person after they've been hurt or sick and seeing their healthy faces is a feeling I can't even begin to describe. What about you? What do you think you would do?"

"I think that I would probably work in the Ministry, follow in Dad's footsteps you know, maybe something with Transfiguration. Hmm…maybe I would be a professor at Hogwarts."

"And replace McGonagall? Oh god, the students would have a field day to have the former trouble-maker, the bane of professors and students alike to come and teach them Transfiguration." James let out a booming laugh at the thought of miniscule little first years looking up at him in awe as he introduced them to the complexities of Transfiguration.

"Yeah, I don't think that I would be a very good Professor. Oh I'd make sure that they know their stuff, but I'd probably also teach them all the secret passageways and how to play the best pranks and stuff like that."

"Oh those passageways have supplied so many of our Gryffindor parties, I didn't know till the last year how you guys always managed to have a ready and large supply of Butterbeer and chocolate for a spontaneous party or whatnot. I didn't even realize they existed until you forced me to come with you that one night when I realized that it was Mum's birthday the next day and with Head duties and homework, I had forgotten to get her a present." Lily, laughed remembering how horrified she had been at the thought of sneaking out of school in the middle of night.

_"So what have you gotten your Mum this year Lily?" Kiera asked, sucking on the back of her quill as the three of them worked on their homework in the library._

_"What did I get Mum for what?" Lily asked, absent-mindedly. Kiera looked up at Lily in surprise._

_"Isn't your Mum's birthday around this time? I seem to remember you always buying a present for her around October?" Lily stood up, dropping the quill in her hand._

_"Oh my gosh!" she whispered in horror. "I forgot…I forgot! I've never forgotten since I was three years old and I forgot! What am I going to do?"_

_"Why don't you ask the boys? They're always talking about how there are so many ways to get stuff done only if you know the right way?" Annie suggested. Lily looked at her._

_"Did that many sense to you Lily, or was it just me who is so lost?" Kiera asked, lost as well._

_"Just go to talk to James, he'll know what I'm talking about." Annie replied, continuing to work on her Charms essay. Lily nodded, and shoved all her books in the bag and ran out the library so fast that she earned a "Shh" from Madame Pince for the first same time without having James with her. The only time that she was ever yelled at by the librarian was when she usually got into a fight with James. She sprinted to the Heads common room, running into several students in the way and almost tripping over Mrs. Norris. Finally, she reached the door, and panting she gave the password. The door swung open, but not fast enough for her, she pushed it and tripped inside as the door pushed her in quickly as punishment for pushing it. James looked up from the couch where he was reading to see the red-haired Head Girl looking flushed, as if she had just run a marathon._

_"Where can I get a present for my Mum?" she gasped, standing up and putting the heavy bag down._

_"Err…there's this village called Hogsmeade where I've heard there are some stores," James teased._

_"No James! Her birthday is tomorrow! And I didn't get her a present!" Lily shrieked, walking over to James and looming over him, her hands on her hips._

_"It's okay Lily, I'm sure she'll understand I mean, you've been busy. I'm sure she'll be okay if you send her a present a couple of days later."_

_"No James," Lily insisted. "You really don't understand. I have remembered her birthday since I was three years old and I haven't been there with her for a single birthday since I was ten. To make up for that, I always send her a present. To forget it and send it late is like forgetting about her, and forgetting that I have a family back home away from this school." James opened his mouth to try and convince Lily that she was overreacting but he noticed her agitation and shut up._

_"Okay, so what do you want to do?"_

_"I want to figure out a way to get a present. I don't know what that means, Annie told me to come and tell you, she said you'd know what I was talking about. Where can I get a present for my Mom?" James's face lit up, he understood where Annie was coming from._

_"I have an idea, BUT it's going to break probably a dozen school rules." Lily's fell face at the mention of breaking rules, but she screwed up her face in determination and nodded resolutely._

_"Okay, that's fine, but can we just you know…try not to get caught? I don't fancy getting expelled in my seventh year." James grinned._

_"Now Miss Evans, have you ever heard of any of us Marauders being caught unless we want to get caught?"_

_"No, but still." Lily accepted._

_"We're going to have wait till dinner time when we won't be missed. Thank God that tonight the prefects are doing the rounds and not us. And please don't let your agitation show, somebody will figure out what's going on." James cautioned. Lily nodded, but they both knew that there was no way she'd be able to calm down at the thought of breaking so many school rules in one night._

_The rest of the afternoon and evening, Lily was a basket case. She kept on pacing up and down the common room and when James sternly told her to stop or he'd be forced to tie her up till dinner time, she went to her room and packed up and down there._

_"I can't be expelled. Mum and Dad would kill me if I got expelled from Hogwarts, I would have no job. I don't have any Muggle skills except what I learned back in primary school and oh gosh, what would Petunia say if she found out that I was expelled? No it's okay, the boys do this all the time and they have never been caught. They're still in school, I'm not going to get expelled. James knows Hogwarts better than anyone else I know."_

_"Lily, it's time." James spoke solemnly through the door. Lily fluttered her hands nervously and replied, stammering,_

_"Just give me a second, I need to grab a sweater." She opened the door and James noticed how pale her face was, making her green eyes stand out even more._

_"What if we end up getting caught?" Lily blurted out._

_"Lily," James sighed patiently. "Do you trust me?" He put his hand out and she grabbed it._

_"Yeah, I do trust you."_

"Yep and that was the night when Miss Lily Evans broke school rules, snuck into Hogsmeade just to buy these firecrackers that turn into different types of animals when burst." James teased her, loving the blush that threatened to creep up from her neck and cover her whole face.

"Yeah, that was the night I did something I never thought I would be doing – I almost risked expulsion." Lily shuddered as James snorted.

"You would've risked expulsion if you'd have been caught."

"Yeah I know that now, but at that point, I was too caught up in the whole concept of sneaking out at night. I should've known better though, I mean I trusted you to make sure we wouldn't get caught, but still."

"Ohhh so you trusted me from then huh?" James laughed. "What happened when you said during Christmas break "I knew there was a reason I never trusted you." So you were just lying then to hurt my poor feelings?" Lily stuck her tongue out at James and got up.

"I am really tired, we've been talking for around three hours now. The walk there and back made my leg muscles sore." Lily grimanced.

"That's because you don't do any physical activity."

"I do plenty physical activity, I just don't live on a broomstick like you." Waving her hand, Lily walked out of James's room, shutting the door behind him.

"So that's what Dumbledore meant what he said about how I can make up for lost opportunities." James mused to himself, staring at the door that separated him and Lily, well one of the doors. "I just hope that eventually, it ends up working out. Too much has happened for it to all break now, it just _has_ to.

Authors Note: thanks guys for all those review, though I do wish that more people would review. I know that laziness takes over (I didn't review too much myself either) but now from the author's point of view, it's much more motivating to write to reviews than to write without reviews. I know that people are reading it because of the stats, but still, just please review. Thanks once again.


	6. Decisions

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize.

"Lily!" James bellowed, pounding his hand on her bedroom door with one fist and trying to straighten his collar and tie at the same time. Groaning in frustration; they were already running late, James picked up his hand to knock once again but instead of wood, his hand met empty air.

"You're really lucky that I'm not that tall, or you would have just punched me in your face and you know I'd have beaten your ass for that." Lily said coolly, straightening her dress.

"We need to change your appearance," James groaned, trying to struggle with his resistant tie.

"Here, let me do that." Lily snatched the tie out of his hands and straightened it and smoothened out his collar. The cool brush of her fingertips gave James goosebumps all over his arms while relaxing him at the same time. He held his breath while she worked and only breathed easily when she put her hands down.

"So you ready?" James asked, bringing out his wand. Lily nodded and James muttered the spell and twirled his wand over Lily's hand and automatically, Alicia stood where Lily had before. Lily twirled around in her green dress that matched her dark eyes. James imitated Lily, but stopped midway when he saw Lily standing still, with her hands on her hips.

"What?" He asked, bewildered, wondering if he drastically looked wrong.

"Not bad, Mr. Potter. Who would have thought that you cleaned up so nice? I don't think I have seen you this dressed up since…I can't even last remember." James blushed, he had decided to wear dress robes.

"I didn't want to wear a tuxedo because that is usually a Muggle outfit and I wasn't sure that that'd be appreciated with the company we will be in." James explained his choice of clothing. Lily nodded, and replied.

"Good thinking. We'd probably have just been killed if you'd have shown up in that."

"Now can we go? We have a long walk to go, which I still don't understand. Why can't we just Apparate to their house? It would save us so much time and I wouldn't have to worry about dirtying my shoes or tripping and breaking my neck." Lily grumbled.

"We can't Apparate to the Malfoy House because their house has an Anti-Apparation charm just like this one. It prevents uninvited strangers and anywhere near them wouldn't be a good idea believe me. We are surrounded by Death Eaters, we don't want to EVER walk into any of their activities without being announced with just the two of us and no chance of backup. Believe me, it wouldn't be pretty. I have seen them in action, it's terrible as to the extents they have gone to harm people." James shuddered at the memories of the torture he had seen his fellow Aurors go through at the hands of the dangerous Dark Eaters. Lily nodded mutely,

"Yeah, I remember when I was a trainee in the Healer's Ward. Every time there was an attack, it would become more gruesome. One of the other trainees started fainting at the loss of limbs and eventually she quit, she couldn't take it anymore. Especially after she found her brother missing one hand and leg."

"Yeah," James said, not knowing what to say to the sights that Lily must have seen working at St. Mungos. He had only heard stories or seen the Aurors he worked with, she would have seen every injured witch, wizard or Muggle out there.

"Let's go." James said, a couple of minutes later.

They had been walking for a long time, when Lily suddenly spoke.

"What do you think tonight's going to be like?" James looked at her, confused by the abrupt interruption of his inner monologue.

"Going to be like how?"

"I mean…this is the first time you know, we're going to be eating dinner at a confirmed Death Eater's house. Do you think the food would be different or what?" James laughed.

"I think the food should be the same, after all they are only human, though I would like to say more demonic than human." Lily smiled.

"You know that's not what I meant."

"I definitely do think that the conversation at the dinner table won't exactly be discussing the advantages of having a werewolf as a friend or the functioning of Muggle things like trains and cars and such." James admitted as Lily sighed.

"I just wish that this war was over, I wish that Voldemort was gone so I could actually go back and see my parents."

"What do you mean go and see your parents?" James asked, astonished.

"What? You don't know? I haven't seen my parents since graduation except for a couple of minutes every five to six months when I go and see them under Dumbledore or McGonagall's protection." Lily replied softly, sadness etched on her face.

"Why!" James exclaimed, shocked. Lily had always been so close to her parents.

"Because they think that the moment I am going to be away from magical protection of even the smallest kind, the Death Eaters are going to realize it and come after me. It's for my own protection I guess. They even wanted Mum and Dad to go into hiding, but they refused, especially since Petunia is getting married soon."

"Someone actually wants to marry that horse?" James asked, aghast. Lily giggled, but smothered it quickly and looked at James in mock anger.

"I would really like it if you didn't insult my sister in that foul manner."

"Ha. As if you didn't play any pranks on her, or call her any names. I've only seen her a couple of times when she's come to pick you up at the train station, but seriously." Lily laughed, but stopped and stared into the distance.

"Lily?" James asked softly, wondering if he'd said anything wrong.

"No, you're right. It's just you know every sister's dream that one day, when her older sister gets married, she'll get to be the maid of honor and share in her happiness. Instead, I am not even allowed to go near the wedding, and it wouldn't even matter if it wasn't for this magical protection, she wouldn't want me in it. You know that ever since I joined Hogwarts, things have been really bad with us. She thinks I'm a freak."

"You are not a freak, you know that. Just because you can do some spells or mutter some charms doesn't make you any less normal than me." Lily looked at James to see the corner of his lips twitching to suppress a smile and his eyes twinkling at her in humor. "But I didn't know about this magical protection thing." James added, turning serious.

"Yeah, only Annie and Kiera really know besides Dumbledore and McGonagall. Oh, and of course, now you." Lily answered, the visible part of her neck turning a light red. James stared straight ahead.

_"I can't believe that she actually trusts me with a secret this big. Obviously, it must mean something to her, not being able to see her parents for more than a little bit since she graduated, not being able to sleep in her childhood room. And that is one of the things that she was most looking forward after graduation." _James thought. Meanwhile, Lily was lost in her memories of the last couple of months at Hogwarts.

_Lily sat there, reading her Potions text, trying to concentrate on the words but she kept on drifting off, and she found herself reading the same paragraph repeatedly._

_"Earth to Lily!' She saw a hand waving in front of her, and she jerked by the suddenness of it. She turned around to see the source of the hand, but she already knew who it was, only one person would have a hand this big that would actually wave like this, James._

_"Yes?" she asked, raising her eyebrow in a questioning manner._

_"I've been calling your name for the last few minutes and you didn't seem to hear me, it's almost as if you were in some sort of a trance." James replied, in equally cool manner._

_"Oh…" Lily stuttered, blushing._

_"Okay, that's it. Now you gotta spill. When you start blushing and stuttering like that, I know it's a good story." James teased, picking up the pillow and settling himself comfortably in the couch next to her. When she didn't start talking, he looked at her expectantly._

_"Do you really expect me to sit and tell you what I was thinking about?" Lily asked, trying to sound indignant but failing obviously by the glint in James's eyes._

_"Yes, I do. And you know that I won't let you leave the room until you tell me so it's your choice. Either tell me, or prepare yourself to spend the next couple of days here in my company, without any food, without even having a chance to shower." He threatened, but didn't seem to faze Lily. Yet, she spoke up._

_"I was just thinking of going back home after so long. I mean it hasn't really been home you know because I've spent more time at Hogwarts than I have done with my family for the last seven years. It's almost as if when I go there for the summer, I'm on vacation and when I come back here every September, I've come back home. I love Hogwarts, but sometimes…I don't really like that feeling too much. I want to sleep enough nights on my bed that I get used to it, I know all the comfortable spots and how to adjust my head without having to spend a couple of nights every time to get used to it. I want to wake up to my parents talking every morning, and believe it or not, I actually want to see Petunia and hopefully make amends with her."_

_"You seem excited to go back home." James replied, his eyebrows furrowing._

_"I am, I don't think that I've been this excited for something in such a long time." Lily answered, her eyes shining brightly._

_"But…what about Annie and Kiera? What about your friends from Hogwarts? You're not going be seeing them everyday probably not even that often with you living in the Muggle world. And what about a job? You don't really have that many Muggle skills to get a job." James asked._

_"James! Can you stop? I don't want to think about all of that! I have spent the last seven years here, away from my family, the people whom I've known all my life. How do you think that makes me feel? How do you think that makes my parents feel?"_

_"Lily, we all did it."_

_"Yeah, but your parents came here too, you're part of the dozens of generations who studied here. You're one of the oldest wizarding families here, so it's expected of you. Me, I'm the first one! It's much harder. You don't know what you're talking about, you have no idea how I feel every time I see my Mum's tears at the train station or the sadness on my Dad's face, you just don't know!" Lily exclaimed, her emerald eyes flashing. She stood up and stormed out of the room, leaving James standing behind, staring at her, his face tight._

_Lily sat on her bed, her fists clenched into tight balls as she stared at her room._

_"I can't believe that he said that, that he actually thought about asking what would happen for a job and about Kiera and Annie. It doesn't matter, it really doesn't matter, I NEED to go back home, I have to. Especially after the way that Dad looked last time, he doesn't look so good. I have to go back home." She whispered out loud. _

_"Lily!" James bellowed from outside her door, banging on the door._

_"Go away." Lily yelled back._

_"No really Lily, open the door. I know that you're mad at me, but still, McGonagall just sent an owl asking you to be in Dumbledore's office in like five minutes." _

_Lily bolted up from her bed and opened the door and walked past James without sparing him a glance. The whole trip to Dumbledore's office, Lily kept on replaying James's words on leaving her friends and everything that she'd worked for. Slowly, a bit of doubt crept into her heart as to whether was she doing the right thing, forgoing everything that her life had meant for the last seven years. Finally, she reached the gargoyle that marked the entrance to Dumbledore's office._

_"Sugar Quills," Lily said clearly and the gargoyle spun, revealing a curvy set of stairs. Climbing up, Lily walked into Dumbledore's office to find Dumbledore and McGonagall waiting for her._

_"Hello Professors," Lily said politely, wondering why they had called her up here alone. If it was to do with Head's business, James would've been there with her. _

_"Hello Miss Evans, thank you for meeting us on such short notice." Dumbledore greeted courteously. _

_"Sit, Miss Evans." McGonagall added sternly, but Lily didn't mind; she was used to her brusque manner. Lily complied to the order and rested in the large armchair that seemed to engulf her._

_"You must be wondering why we've asked you here, Miss Evans." Dumbledore began, his glasses perched on the very tip of his nose, almost ready to fall off. Lily nodded. "Well, I'm sure that you've heard of this Dark Wizard, Voldemort, ascending to power." Lily's eyes had shifted towards McGonagall when she'd flinched at the name, but she looked back towards Dumbledore._

_"Yes, it's all over the Daily Prophet on how the mysterious deaths or people going missing is usually his fault, including in the Muggle world." Lily swallowed, she would always hold her breath whenever there was a Muggle attack in fear that it would be her family who would be next._

_"Yes, that brings us to our reason for this meeting and what I'm about to ask you to do next. You are one of the smartest witches that Hogwarts has ever seen, there was a reason that I'd picked you as Head Girl. As a good witch, you pose a threat to Voldemort, at least that's what it seems like if he ever found out about your talents. Now I don't pretend to think that there isn't a single student in this school who won't go over to his side if they haven't already and there is a very strong chance that you will come up. That means that you are in danger from him if that ever be the case." Dumbledore explained. Lily sat there, aghast._

_"Umm…" Lily tried to speak, but she couldn't form a coherent thought._

_"So what we're suggesting is that instead of going back home and staying there with your family as you'd originally planned on doing, you stay in the wizarding world where we can keep an eye on you." Lily looked up at this only to catch the worried expressions on both her Professor's faces._

_"But what about my family? Won't they be in danger as well and if I'm with them, they at least have a chance of escaping...but without any magical powers, they are sitting ducks, just waiting there for the Death Eaters." Lily answered._

_"Yes, we realized that so before speaking to you, I actually spoke to your parents. And they feel the same way that we do, they want you to be safe. And as for your parents, we offered them the best protection that we could, but the condition for that would've been that they would've had to go into hiding, and your parents refused to do that. They didn't want to live their life running away they said, but they didn't want you to be involved with them." McGonagall replied. Lily blinked away the tears that were threatening to fall from the corner of her eyes, and tried to speak without sounding choked._

_"So what exactly does this mean? I don't mind staying with them, I want to. In the end, it's my decision."_

_"Yes, it is your decision and nothing that we or your parents say can change that, but I also want you to take this into consideration. There is always a chance that they may be safer because if you're not associated with them, there is always a possibility that they may not figure out they're your family and not go after them. But I do want you to think about this, your parents know the amount of work that you've put into your magical education in the last seven years, they also know how much it means to you and what you're good at. They take pleasure in the small magic tricks that you could show when you went home, imagine how they would feel if they knew that you were putting your magical education to use. You can pick whichever field you want Miss Evans, your grades entail you to that privilege. All you'd have to do would be to say the word and we'd give you the applications and you would be in training or a job or whatever you'd like. It's all up to you." Dumebledore said gently._

_Lily sat there, thinking hard. She remembered the joy on her mother's face the first time she did magic at home by accident, she remembered the twinkling of her father's eyes and his jokes about how she was a real witch with a pointed black hat and how she'd ride away into the sky on her broomstick. She finally realized that it would've never worked with her staying at home and giving up everything magic, she loved it too much. No matter how hard she tried to convince herself, nothing could keep her away from it, it had become as much a part of her as any of her arms or legs. It was time that she finally made the decision, which she knew that her parents would approve._

_"Okay, I will do it." She decided._

_"Okay Miss Evans, is there any specific field you would like to go to?" Professor McGonagall asked, a piece of parchment and quill appearing magically in her hand._

_"I think…I think that I would like to go into Healing." Lily replied. Professor McGonagall smiled, it would suit her perfectly._

_"Excellent job Miss Evans, now you can go back to your studies or yelling at Mr. Potter, whatever you were up to when we asked you to come." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled at the mention of James. But Lily had other things on her mind._

_"Wait, does this mean that I will not get a chance to see my parents?" Immediately, the two Professors exchanged a worried glance. _

_"You will…except it will never be for a long period of time and it will always be with one of us so that in case, something goes wrong, we can make sure that everyone is out of there safely." Dumbledore answered. Lily felt her heart sink._

_"So basically…I can lose all hope of actually spending time with my parents until this war is over?" she asked slowly._

_"You will still be able to spend a couple of hours with them," Dumbledore cautioned. Lily stood up and nodded bye to the Professors and walked out of the Headmaster's office, her legs moving as if filled with lead. Finally, when she knew that she was alone, she broke into a run and ran outside. She didn't know for how long she ran and where she ran, all she knew was that she ended up near the lake and she sat there and cried. What she didn't know was that someone had seen her run like a madwoman and when he saw her sit and cry like that, he knew that her world had just been turned upside down._

"Lily?" James questioned. They were nearing the Malfoy's manor now, it wouldn't do to have Lily looking as if she was under the Imperius curse, and on top of that, he was worried about her. She seemed lost in her own world and hadn't even realized when she'd stepped on a dead rat. Lily jerked out of her memories and smiled wanly at James.

"Sorry…a trip down memory lane." James tried to smile back, but he knew it would look forced so he didn't.

"You're sure that you're okay?" he asked instead.

"Yeah, I just…I was just thinking about the day that Dumbledore and McGonagall told me that I wouldn't be able to see my parents that often or stay with them, the day I decided to save my own neck instead of I guess making up for lost time with my parents." Lily sounded bitter, so James didn't think it wise to reply to that foolish statement. When James didn't answer, Lily looked up to see him stare at the forest steadily as they still marched on through the forest route.

"You think that I'm stupid don't you?" Lily accused. James sighed, Lily was in one of those moods where she wouldn't listen to reason.

"Yes…I do think that you're being stupid, but before you start yelling and screaming at me as to how I don't have any idea what you're talking about, let me also tell you that I get where you're coming from. I'm sure that I would've felt the same way if I was in your position." Lily had opened her mouth to do exactly what James had predicted, but she snapped it shut. Staring ahead, she realized that they were nearing the Malfoy manor.

"I just wish that things could've been different." She replied simply. James nodded, he too had noticed that they'd almost reached their destination.

"Holy crap !What a moron!" He pulled Lily behind a large tree that he hoped would cover them.

"What happened?" she asked, worried.

"I didn't change your look. If anybody was on the lookout, they would've noticed your red hair, it's like a signal a mile away and then our whole cover would've been blown and we'd have been dead before you could say Quidditch."

"Do you think anyone saw us?" Lily asked shakily, inwardly cursing her red hair for the umpteenth time in her life.

"No I think we'd have known by now if they would've," he replied wryly. Quickly, he muttered the transformations and from Lily, she turned into Alicia. Once again, Lily noticed the strange expression appear on James's face, the same one he had the previous time that he had transformed her. It was almost loving, almost wanting. She felt a stab of hurt, was "Alicia" that much prettier than her that he couldn't hide his opinion? He, who had managed to confound some of the greatest professors that Hogwarts had even seen, probably all except for Dumbledore? Shaking her mind off these thoughts, she concentrated on the task ahead.

"You ready?" James asked calmly, and the two walked on towards the manor.

They stood in front of the brass door for the second day in a row. James hesitantly looked at Lily, he had been afraid to look at her or communicate with her since she'd talked about her parents. She would notice the pity in his eyes and he knew she didn't want that. The same staid butler opened the door and greeted in his monotone voice,

"Master and Mistress are waiting for you. Follow me." They followed them. James was reminded of the times that he got into serious trouble at homes and the way all the House-Elves would be somber and gloomy because they knew that the young Mr. Potter would be in for a yelling, he felt as if he was five years old and in trouble with his parents again. Instead of taking them to the stone chamber where they'd met the Malfoys yesterday, he led them further down the cold hallway and turned into a magnificent room with what seemed like dozens of chandeliers floating in the air. An involuntary gasp escaped from Lily. James looked at her sideways, the corner of his mouth slightly lifting upwardly. Lily gave a small grin sheepishly and then straightened her face into the passive look that she decided would become the characteristic expression of Alicia.

"Hello." James greeted smoothly, slipping his hand into the crook of Lily's elbow and grasping her hand.

"James Potter?" A woman with dark and curly black hair turned around, her eyes almost lidded shut. Lily clenched James's tightly, Bellatrix had been famous at Hogwarts for her taunts towards Lily. The amount of duels that Kiera had taken part in were numerous because of Bellatrix trying to hurt Lily who usually walked away, claiming that she was above such childish nonsense. James responded with a squeeze of his own, letting Lily know that it would be okay.

"Ahh Bellatrix," James greeted, walking towards Bellatrix.

"Fancy seeing you here. You always claimed this high and mighty stance back at Hogwarts, running after that stupid Mudblood Evans. What changed now?" she inquired, her shrill voice seeming to drill a hole into Lily's head.

"I have seen the error of my ways due to some mistakes and I thought that I would try and take back what is rightfully ours?" James laughed, hating himself for sounding like an arrogant and pompous ass.

"And who may this be?" Bellatrix turned towards Lily, looking her up and down with an air of disgust. Steeling herself, Lily looked at Bellatrix straight in the eye until she remembered that most wives of these pure-bloods were supposed to be docile. Obviously, Bellatrix was an exception because Rodulphus, her husband, just walked up behind her, carrying a glass of wine.

"This is my wife, Alicia." James introduced. Lily squirmed, Rodulphus was looking at her too closely, his eyes almost seemed caressing.

"Alicia eh? You must tell us the story as to how you two…met?" he spoke, his loud voice softening towards the end. James laughed as if it was a big joke and Lily smiled, wondering what had possessed James to laugh.

"I see that you've met my sister-in-law and her husband?" Lucius Malfoy's soft voice came from behind them and it took all of Lily's self-control not to jump. They turned in sync to see Narcissa on Lucius's arm in the same position that Lily was. Lily felt disgusted, she hoped that she would never look at her husband in such an adoring manner if he didn't deserve it and hopefully, not even then.

"Yes, we knew each other from school." Both the Black sisters had been older than James and Lily, Bellatrix graduating when they were in their third year and Narcissa in their fourth.

"Why don't we sit down for dinner and we can introduce you to some more of our friends, and your new neighbors?" Lily felt a seed of dread form at those words. It was okay meeting a couple of Death Eaters, she and James could probably take them but eat food in a room surrounded by them? It was attempted suicide! James gave no indication that he noticed the frantic squeezes that she sent his way, trying to signal him that it would not end well until when they actually sat down and he rested his fingers on her elbow for a couple of seconds. She looked around and just barely stopped her mouth from dropping. There were around fifty people sitting around the dining table, she had attended school with a lot of them and they were all rumored to be Voldemort's followers. This was proof enough that a lot of people had actually gone over to the Dark side, there was Nott, Crabbe and Goyle!

Lily sighed, no matter what James said, how could this end well? Most of the dinner, Lily concentrated on her food, not really eating, mostly swirling the food around in circles, making it look that she was eating, but Lucius's sharp eyes noticed her lack of food intake.

"Mrs. Potter, is our food not to your liking?" he asked in a teasing manner, but Lily didn't miss the steely glance in his blue eyes.

"Oh no it's very delicious," she replied and to prove that point, she took a big bit of what was on her fork, ugh…bean sprouts. Schooling her expression to remain smiling, she chewed and then gulped the disgusting vegetable down with wine.

"So Potter, what exactly do you mean by the statement that you've seen the error of your ways?" Rudolphous asked, his voice carrying over the small chatter and the clinking of the utensils. Immediately, the hall fell silent. James felt all eyes zoom in on him, and he started on his cover story.

"I applied for a job at the Ministry, it would have ensured me employment for lifetime and I wouldn't have needed to concern myself with financial matters." Somebody sniggered, while another person muttered,

"Like you need to now." But James continued, unfazed.

"They had promised the position to me, but last minute, there was a hue and cry as to how that position shouldn't be given to a pureblood such as myself, to encourage Muggle relations, it should be given to a Muggle-born."

"Mudbloods!" somebody hissed.

"Obviously, I was enraged. I had worked very hard for that position and I didn't think it was fair that they could just walk in their and take a post that was rightfully mine. That is when I got to thinking that maybe the Dark Lord had been right for all these years, that maybe I should've listened to you when I was back at Hogwarts." James finished, holding his breath, wondering if they would buy it.

"Dogs! They aren't even fit for our dogs to feed on!" A man called out from down the table.

"They shouldn't even be in here…they shouldn't even know about magic." A woman muttered to her husband on the right. Lily's fingers were trembling with rage, all the taunts that she'd heard back at Hogwarts came back full force, and they only stopped shaking when James casually picked up her hand and wrapped his large palm around it. Bellatrix was the only one who didn't seem convinced.

"What about that Evans girl? I never pegged you down for a man to give up and marry someone else. Sorry to mention it Alicia." Lily shrugged, while mentally wondering who all knew that James had pursued her throughout their Hogwarts years.

James chuckled, but Lily didn't like it, it wasn't his usual happy-go-lucky chuckle, it sounded much more sinister.

"After that incident, I wasn't exactly going to go running after her was I? She is Muggle-born in the end, and I got tired of waiting for her. She needed to realize what she was missing out on when she turned me down all those years ago. Too many times did my ego bruise with every name that she called me."

"Good thing she did too, or you wouldn't be sitting here right now, on your way to greatness would you?" Bellatrix asked, looking James pointedly who simply nodded. Eating resumed for a couple of minutes when once again, Rudolphous spoke.

"So I assume that by you coming here, you hope to join our ranks?" James did his best to nod as eagerly as he could without looking like an imbecile fool.

"This is a perfect night. What a coincidence." Lucius spoke before anybody else could say anything to him. Automatically, the attention shifted towards him.

"Why is it perfect and what is a coincidence?" James asked, a small bit or worry creeping up on him.

"Perfect night because…" Lucius consulted his gold watch, "Right now as we speak, a major Muggle attack is taking place." Lily almost bolted out of her seat.

"I see." James commented. "And what is a coincidence?"

"Coincidence because here you are in front of us just talking to us about Lily Evans when in fact, her parents screams should be ringing throughout their neighborhood just about this very second." Lily's shoulders heaved and she felt her knees wobbling even though she was sitting down. This couldn't be happening, not after all these months of worrying, not now when she could get them both killed by showing the slightest bit of emotion. James felt the color drain from his face, he hadn't expected this to happen.

The remaining people on the table laughed.

"That Mudblood will remember this night for the rest of her life," Bellatrix cackled, climbing on top of her chair, swaying slightly. "She will realize that she should've stayed in her place and that magic isn't her world." She giggled and the entire hall roared with laughter. Lily kept on muttering to herself, "Just stay calm, don't get killed. Stay calm, don't get killed." When that wasn't working, she tried communicating to James without words through her mind, they were being closely watched now by the entire room.

"Let's go James, find a way and get out of her." She thought, while trying to stop the tears that were threatening to fall. James quickly shoved his last bit of food into his mouth and then stood up abruptly.

"Thank you for this wonderful dinner," he said graciously and clutched Lily's hand. "But we must get going. We have a long walk ahead of us, it was great to meet you." Clutching Lily's hand he almost dragged her to the door when they turned again to find a couple of people waving at them, except for Lucius. He was staring at them with narrowed eyes, but when he met James's gaze, he smiled. James nodded in reply and ran down the stone hallway, barely pausing to wait for the butler to open the door. Both ran towards the forest, Lily's dress ripping in several places, James was scratched severely as he tried to dodge the branches that were hanging low so they could move. Finally, when they were out of sight, away from the manor, James collapsed. Lily fell on top of him, sobbing, clutching his shirt, crying for her lost family. James held her in his arms, just letting her cry, knowing that was the best thing to do when your parents had just been murdered by dark wizards.

Authors Note: Thanks for all of those who review, and yes, I have taken the setting off that blocks Anonymous reviewers. Thanks for the help  I didn't even know it was on until mentioned. Sorry for the delay in the chapter, I wanted it to turn out right and I ended up hitting the delete button plenty of times. Hopefully, it isn't too dramatic or too long. Thanks once again. Reviews are greatly appreciated.


	7. Aftermath

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize.

Lily lay in bed, trying to squeeze her eyes shut tightly, hoping that her body would take the silent messages her brain was screaming at it to sleep, but it seemed as if her body had a mind of its own that was going out of its way to defy her own mind. "Just go to sleep" she silently screamed at herself, but it didn't work. She lay there in the dark, trying to empty her mind just like she'd been taught during Healer Training.

Suddenly, she sat upright and looked towards her door. Even in the darkness, she could see James's silhouette pacing outside her door. That was what had disturbed the mind numbing reverie that she had put herself in. She had become so attuned to him once again that even when he was trying his best to be quiet, she could hear him. Seeing him pace up and down made her even more fidgety, and she finally gave in to the impulse that had threatened her since she'd walked into her room.

"James?" she said softly, but she knew that James would hear her. He too was attuned to her as they had been when they'd shared the Heads common room back at Hogwarts. Barely a few seconds later, her door opened slowly and James looked at her cautiously.

"Lily?" he asked gently. She swung her head and looked at him.

James's heart lurched as he saw the devastated look on her face and he rushed to her to gather her in his arms.

"I'm so sorry Lily, I'm so sorry." He kept on murmuring, hoping that if he kept on repeating it, somehow it would make things better. James sat there on the bed rocking her as she clung to his arms. The rocking lulled him into the subconscious of his mind.

_He didn't know how long he sat there in the woods, holding Lily as she cried herself, the tears never seeming to stop. He didn't know what to say to her, what to make the pain go away when in truth, there wasn't really much that could be said to alleviate the pain. He tried hugging as her tightly as she could, so that maybe his body heat would transfer to her body, warming her chilled fingers. Even though the front of his shirt was soaked from her tears, he realized that he was still warmer than she was._

Suddenly, James jerked out of his reverie and realized that there was something different about this scene than the one in the forest. His shirt wasn't getting wet, and there was something different about this situation. He looked down at Lily to find her shaking and sobbing, but for some reason, there were no tears. He looked down at her emerald eyes that were swirling and hazy, but there were no tears threatening to fall out of her eyes.

"I…I…just don't know how to exist in a world where they don't." she gasped, trying to catch her breath, and then she slowly pulled apart from James, settling down on the bed next to him.

"I know Lily…I know that it's hard, it's just…" he was at a loss of words, but it didn't seem to affect Lily.

"How do I go on living when I know that they aren't? They've been the most important part of my life my whole life, even when I was at Hogwarts, they were the most important part of my life, and now they're just _gone._" Her voice cracked on the last word. James started towards her but she pushed his hand down and turned to look at him.

"They didn't even do anything wrong, except for being…Muggles. Or maybe…it was my fault." She said, her voice shaking. James felt his blood pressure rise and he hastily interrupted her before she could travel down that line of thought any more.

"No Lily, you know that isn't true. Right now I know that it feels this way, it feels as if everything that goes wrong in the world is your fault but it isn't. It can't…and it won't. You are one person, you can't go around saving the world."

"I can go around saving my parents though."

"Maybe yes, maybe no. I don't know, I've never figured it out after all these years."

"Does it get any better? Does it get better at all?"

"I don't know Lily, it's been a year and sometimes I feel like it was just yesterday that I got the letter from St. Mungos, I honestly don't know. But what I do know is that it's hard, and you want to blame yourself, but you can't. You cannot focus your energies on blaming yourself because you need to move on, maybe not today, maybe not even this month. But you can't spend your whole life wondering whether was it your fault. You did the right thing by staying in the wizarding world, you did the right thing. And I am telling you this because I know that I am going to need your help to bring down the Death Eaters, we will find a reason for your parents' deaths, we will not let their death be in vain. And that, I promise you."

Lily started at James for a few seconds after his passionate speech, but slowly she started feeling drowsy.

"I think that I am going to sleep now." She said. James nodded and got off the bed.

"Wait James? I don't want to be alone tonight." She murmured softly. James turned back to her and replied,

"Of course Lils, scoot over." He crawled into bed next to her, and they both drifted into a deep slumber.

_Author's Note: Sorry guys for the very very late update and the extremely short chapter. This chapter took me a really long time to write and basically whatever I wrote either didn't seem to portray what I was trying to say or it ended up being too long and drawn out, making it seem highly dramatic and movie-like which I want to try and avoid. I know that this isn't the usual length or substance of my chapters, but right now this is what I have that works the best. Once again, reviews are greatly appreciated. _


	8. Remembrance

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that you recognize

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that you recognize.

James stood there in the kitchen, making breakfast, but not really paying attention to what he was doing. He absentmindedly put a strong dash of sugar in his omelet while heaping a spoonful of salt into his coffee. His eyes kept on darting towards the hallway outside that kitchen that led to his and Lily's room, hoping that he'd hear the door open and see Lily's red head bobbing up and down, still full of sleep. But it seemed that his hopes were of no avail, for no door opened and no spirited young woman came out, ready to take the world on. This had been going on for a few days now.

Every morning, James woke up, hoping that this would be the day that Lily would gather the courage to leave her room and meet the world head on, but everyday Lily continued to hide in her room, despite all of James's pleas and attempts to get her moving. James's eyebrows furrowed as he frowned and seemed to make a decision.

"Lily? Can I come in?" He knocked at her door and when there was no answer, he took it as assent and opened the door to see Lily sitting on her bed, staring aimlessly on the bed. James's heart went out to this frail young girl who had stood strong against all the insults from where she came from and who she was, both at school and at home, but now she sat there, almost broken.

"Lily?" he whispered. She turned to look at him and smiled wanly.

"I'm okay James, I really am." Her voice wavered.

"Nice try, I'm not a stranger you know."

"No I know that, but I am not here wallowing in self-pity, how to get up and move. I'm not doing that." James looked at her, a little taken aback. That is exactly what he'd thought that she was doing. She noticed his astonishment and chuckled humorlessly.

"If you're not doing that, then what are you doing? I'm getting a little worried here Lily, this isn't healthy, you just sitting in your room all day, not eating or drinking besides the small amounts of water that I manage to force down your throat."

"Remembering."

"Huh?"

"I'm remembering." James looked at Lily. Her normally neat hair was astray as it was obvious that she hadn't even bothered to run a hand through it in the last three to four days. The bottom of her eyes were covered in dark circles as if she hadn't slept in weeks and was nearing exhaustion. Her slender body had now turned wraithlike from the lack of food and her healthy complexion was bordering ghostlike white.

"Remembering what?" he settled more comfortably on her bed, forcing her to lie down next to him.

"Everything. I am remembering everything that I can that I've done in my entire life, everything that I've seen, everyone I've met, everything James. But you know what I figured out? That it doesn't really matter if I remember everyone or not because in the end, nobody matters except those who matter to you."

"Lily…"

"I know, I'm not making any sense. But hear me out. We spend our whole lives meeting new people, making new friends, wanting to expand our "horizons" and experiences but for what? What use is that? What use is meeting the new people when sometimes, all you want is right there in front of you? I just realized that everyone I ever wanted to meet, I met by the age of twelve. I spent all those years trying to build relationships with these people whom I will probably never see again, and even if I do, it will just be passing. In order to build these friendships and develop myself as a human, sometimes I ignored the people who truly meant the world to me. And when I realized the mistakes that I had made, it was too late. It was too late James for me to undo the damage that I'd already done. It was too late for me to become nicer to you and erase all the hurtful things I'd said to you, it was too late for me to try and become a better person, a nicer sister, the best daughter that I could be. It was too late because I'd turned into this person that sometimes I don't even recognize. What if I am a terrible person James? What if it was my fault that my parents got murdered, and no I'm not saying this about the whole magic or witch thing. I mean, what if the universe is using this as a way to get back at me for all the terrible things that I've done? I'm trying to remember everything just so I can rationalize this happening.

"Lily, are you out of your mind?" James almost yelled, but he reminded himself in time that she was going through a tumultuous time. He sat up abruptly and made her sit too and grabbed a hold of her shoulders.

"No James, I'm not crazy and I'm not insane. I am just a person trying to figure out _why_. I know how, I know where and when, but I don't know _why_. And I need to figure that out before I put this behind me and move on."

"Okay fine, you want to talk about remembering, then let's talk about remembering. What do you remember?" Lily looked at James, his eyes were flashing with intensity, but she couldn't figure out what was it. "Tell me Lily, what have you remembered so far?" There was almost a taunting edge to his tone.

"I remembered all the mistakes that I made. I remember not listening to Mum when she told me not to eat cookies for breakfast, I remember getting mud on my dress when we were supposed to visit Grandma's. I remember lying about what I was doing awake past my bedtime, I remember when I borrowed one of Dad's shirts and when I ended up ripping it, I threw it away and let them think that it had gotten lost somewhere. I remember playing tricks on Petunia, ready to do magic on her, when I knew that I wasn't allowed to but I just wanted to see her run away in fright or scream for Mum or Dad. I remember pushing away Annie and Kiera when I first met them, when I did everything possible to keep them away from me because remember when I thought that I hated them? I remember the times when I resented every memory and moment that they shared without me because I felt left out. I remember hating Kiera so strongly at one point because she took Annie away from me, at least that's what I thought back then. I remember wishing ill on Sirius when he helped you play those stupid pranks on me. I remember questioning Peter's intelligence level every time he didn't know the answer to a question in class or when he made a bungling mistake. I remember being horrible to _you_ James, yelling all those horrible things to you over the year, blaming the state of our lack of friendship on you completely, without taking into account of my actions or accepting responsibility. I remember being a bitch towards you, making your life a living hell the first couple of months as Head. I remember promising myself that I would never compromise what I wanted as Head Girl just to make peace with you. I remember hating Dumbledore for picking you as Head Boy, it seemed as if the whole world was out to get to you. I remember feeling as if everything that was done was just to make my life miserable, doesn't that make it sound as I thought that the world revolved around me?" Lily took a deep breath as if she was to continue her list of grievances against herself, but James interrupted her once more.

"You've talked and I've listened, now it's my turn to talk. Lily, everyone has those small fibs and lies that we tell our parents when we were younger. We all did this random things that our parents told us not to do, but we did them anyways, but that doesn't make you a bad person just because you ate cookies. I promise you that your parents wouldn't hold that against you at all because they know the type of person that you have become. You have got to believe me on that one. Petunia, I can't really say much because I've never dealt with her, I've never even talked to her, but I also do know that if she had that kind of an attitude against you just because you were a witch, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Maybe the most mature thing in the world wasn't to tease her and threaten to do magic on her, but hey, none of us are really mature at any age. We all have the tiny things that make us tick, that bring out the immature child in us, but once again, that doesn't make you a bad person. It just makes you human. Kiera and Annie both love you, they've wanted what's best for you and I get that you guys had a hard journey getting to the relationship and the bonds that you three have built, but isn't what makes it better? The fact that you had to fight, the fact that you cared enough to fight for each other? Doesn't it make you feel better that they know that you can be a little jealous, that you don't like people intruding on your friendships and they still wanted to remain friends with you? Doesn't that say something about your character and who you are? Doesn't it say something about the type of person they think you are. Don't even bother thinking about those small trivialities about Sirius and Peter, I promise you that neither of them lost a moment's worth of sleep, Sirius especially. He's thick-skinned, and even if he wasn't, he'd take great pride in knowing that he irritated you by playing pranks on you. And for me, just as much as you ranted at me and made my life a living hell, I did the same to you. Sometimes I did it without provocation, just to see your face turn red with anger and to see you scream and yell at me. Does that make me a bad person? I don't think so, at least I wouldn't like to think so because even if we did say some really hurtful things to each other, I also know that if it ever came down to it, if we ever really and truly needed each other at any point, we'd have been there. And I'm not just saying that now, but I thought so even then."

"James…"

"No, I'm not finished yet. You remember all of these things about you, but you know what, this is not what any of us remember when we think of you. When I think of you, I remember this strong girl who's done so much in her life in such a short period of time. I remember this girl who met my fire with fire, ice with ice and yet managed to become one of my best friends, a girl whom I trust with my life even at this very moment. I remember a girl who would do anything for her friends, but yet managed to retain her individuality and remain true to herself. I'm sure that when Annie or Kiera think of you, they think of their best friend who has been with them every step of the way since the very beginning, even when you guys weren't on the best times. They remember the girl who sat with them at the Hospital Wing, holding their hands while they were getting their bones regrown or when they were delirious with fever. They remember the girl who helped them to study for their exams when they had slacked off instead and gone out on dates instead. They remember their friend who was just _there_ for them and who listened to them. I also know that the other boys hold you in the highest of regards, you're the girl who went from spewing curses at them to being there for Remus when you found out what he was, for not alienating him over something he had no control over. You became one of us, the one on the secret, the one who accepted him for he was. And I don't think that your parents would've remembered you as the daughter who ate cookies or did naughty things that any small child is bound to do. Instead I'd like to think and I am quite confident on this one, they remember a daughter who has grown into a beautiful woman, both on the inside and the outside. A daughter who stayed away from her childhood home and family to try and keep them safe, a daughter who worked hard throughout her seven years at school to make her parents proud. A daughter who loved her parents so much right till the very end, and who will continue loving them even after that, maybe even through time. A daughter who is strong and knows her mind, a daughter with her two feet on the ground and who can manage herself. Lily, things like those don't really matter, when it is the big things that do. Your parents loved you, they wouldn't have wanted you beating yourself up over things like this. Petunia, I frankly don't give a damn about. You are an amazing person and yes, you may have done some things that you aren't proud of, but you know what, none of us are. We all have regrets in our lives, but if we let those regrets take over, then what are we left with? Just painful memories that just hurt us."

"It's easier to hurt myself thinking about the bad memories James, because when I think of the good ones, the hurt becomes stronger and the tears start falling." Lily whispered, turning her face towards him for the first time since he began his tirade. He stared back at her evenly.

"Aren't the good memories what we're fighting for? What exactly do you think we're doing here, Lily. We're here, and I mean this very moment right now, this whole mission, everything, we're here so that the world can remain a safer place. So that we can stay alive long enough for what, the terrible times to overtake our lives? Who would want to live a world that is ruled by emotions such as those? Lily, we're fighting for good, and not just good and evil as in personality, but good for everything. We're fighting for the good memories that we've made, and for those that are to come in the future. If you block those out, if you block everything good that you have done, then what is it that you're living for? Why bother breathing and eating and all of that if you want to concentrate on the bad and evil? Because that isn't living, that is just existing, and existing is not what you're meant to do. None of us really are, but least of all someone like you who loves life and everything precious about it. Now before I start sounding like a wuss, let me stop right here, but Lily you can't do this to yourself. I won't let you. Do you understand me?"

"James," Lily sobbed and threw herself against James's chest and cried.

"Shh," James stroked Lily's back, trying to soothe her. "I know, Lily, just let it out."

"It's just…it hurts so much more when I think of everything, I want to go back to Mum and hug her again and smell her shampoo, I want to hear Dad's laughter and his stupid jokes so that when I laugh, I laugh so hard that my stomach hurts." She sobbed.

"I know it does Lils, but this isn't you. It has to hurt, that's why it's called grieving, that is why you miss your parents. But this is not the way to spend the rest of your life. You're stronger than that, you're better than that. Do you understand me?" Lily nodded, pulling away from the circle of James's arms.

The moment she was out of his reach, she felt a sense of emptiness which she shook away and James lay his hands limply on his side.

"I'm sorry that I got your shirt wet," she sniffed, noticing the dark patches that her tears had left on his clothes.

"Do you honestly think that I care if you got my shirt wet?" James pulled her chin up so he could look at her face clearly, without her trying to hide anything. "Are you okay?"

"No, but I will be." She replied honestly. James searched her face for any lies, but he didn't find any.

"Good." He said with a tone of finality.

"James? Will you do me a favor?" she asked softly, playing with the edge of the worn blanket.

"What is it Lily?"

"Will you tell me stories about good times that we had at Hogwarts? Right now, everything seems to be kind of blank and I need to hear them, just so that later on, when I want to remember them, I know that they happened and that I didn't just blank out." James grinned at her and settled back comfortably on her bed.

"What do you want to hear about?"

"I don't care, it doesn't have to involve me, I just want to hear something happy."

"I have a better idea, instead of me telling you a happy memory, why don't I show you?" James got up and disappeared for a minute and came back carrying a small pot with wisps of smoke floating out of it.

"A Pensieve!" Lily exclaimed, sitting up on her bed in excitement. "Why haven't I seen this before?" she asked indignantly.

"Because I am not of the habit of telling everyone that I store all my memories…especially when I'm living with someone as sneaky as you who would try and go through all of them," he retorted, grinning. Lily stuck her tongue out at him and then looked at him expectantly as he swirled through the murky liquid, looking for something.

"Got it," he muttered. "You ready?" he grabbed her hand and together they fell into the pot.

"Where are we?" Lily whispered to James. All she saw around her was the Gryffindor common room at Hogwarts.

"Shh…you'll find out, now stop talking!" he admonished and Lily listened and waited. They didn't have to wait for too long, because suddenly they heard voices and incoming footsteps.

_"James Potter! I am going to kill you if that's the last thing I do!" Lily screeched as she ran down the stairs from the Girls dormitory, her face covered with various kinds of fruits. Apples hung from her red hair while oranges seemed to be glued onto her cheeks. James sauntered in, with the rest of the Marauders following him._

_"You rang?" he asked, his one eyebrow raised at Lily's appearance._

_"Gosh Lily, most people eat fruits, not wear them," Sirius chuckled at his own joke while Lily glared daggers at him._

_"You think that I WANT to have fruits all over me? You think that I want to smell like a freaking grocery store?" She yelled, the octave of her voice getting higher with each syllable until James had to shake his ear to get rid of the ringing. "You dog!" she yelled towards Sirius, and all four of the boys smirked. She'd hit the nail upon the head, without knowing that she'd the nail upon the head._

_"Lily, why do you automatically assume that I'm the one responsible for this act?" James asked, appraising the rising color of her face._

_"Probably because you're the only one who's out to get me! You prat! I'm going to kill you for this."_

_"Now now, what kind of behavior and language is this from an exemplary student like yourself, especially Head Girl?" _

_"The same kind of behavior that leads the Head Boy to break into the girl's dormitory, which I might add that I don't even sleep in anymore, and still lay a trap for me to fall into."_

_"Lily Evans! I swear if you have one more screaming match with James, I'm going to kill you myself!" Kiera walked into the dorm with Annie, glaring at the two fighting heads._

_"Seriously guys, you've scared everyone away," Annie remonstrated. Lily looked down guiltily, but then she snapped her head back up in anger._

_"I wouldn't be this angry if I didn't have this whole banquet of fruits on me, all these tarts," she said pointing to herself. _

_"Wait a minute," she narrowed her eyes and looked at Kiera who seemed to be looking everywhere but at her._

_"James didn't even know that I was going to enter your guys' dorm, he wouldn't have spent all this time rigging everything up just if I ended up going there by chance." All six of the seventh years looked at Kiera who seemed to be admiring the ceiling in great detail._

_"Okay fine! I did it…it was just a practical joke. Lils, you're always so serious lately, and you've been under a lot of pressure. I thought that a nice prank would lighten you up a little," she explained earnestly. Annie snorted._

_"You would Kiera, honestly." But a grin crept onto her face as she took in the amusing picture that Lily seemed to make. Lily looked at her best friends who were both laughing at her and then looked at James whom she'd wrongly accused, he was grinning at her too. She sighed in resignation._

_"Fine, I guess since I have been so uptight lately and made your guys' lives a living hell, I should lighten up and when better to lighten up than now?" With that, she grabbed two soft peaches from her shoulders and flung one each at the two girls. Annie gasped in surprise, and Kiera looked at Lily in askance._

_"Are you out of your mind? I have to look nice for my date tonight!" she shrieked._

_"Please, as if it would matter if you look nice or not, the guy's going to get bored anyways," Sirius butted in coolly. Remus shut his eyes in horror, he didn't like where this was heading._

_"You're dead Black!" Kiera whispered deathly and flung the nearest book that she could find. Unfortunately, this textbook was one of the biggest Lily had found to read in the library and it weighed around seven pounds. Currently, those seven pounds were sailing towards Sirius's head and he didn't have enough time to dodge the enormous book that seemed to knock the wind out of him._

_"That was the worst thing you could've done…"he taunted her, and soon an all out food-book-pillow fight broke out between the seven students. In just a matter of few minutes, the entire Common Room was a mess with torn pillows and broken chairs lying around. Right in the middle of all the chaos, those seven lay, holding their stomachs from laughing so much._

_"I can't believe we just did that!" Annie gasped and then grimaced as she tried to get up but ended up slipping in some of the fruit juice and she fell back again._

_"Look at it!" Lily looked at the room around her. The normally somewhat neat room looked like a tornado had come in and blown everything around, breaking furniture, goose feathers all over the place with some random pieces of strawberries or mangoes hanging from the ceiling. She exchanged a look with James who looked at her with a look of terror. McGonagall was going to kill them when she found this out._

_"Isn't there anyway that we can fix this without anybody finding out?" Kiera asked frantically. "I've just finished my month of detention, this will earn me enough detention to last me for the rest of the year." _

_For once, Sirius didn't have a comeback to that because he still had some detention pending, this would just add more nights a week._

_"Come on Remus, think! You're the one who usually cleans up the messes," Peter pleaded. The rest of them turned to Remus who shut his eyes and focused in concentration._

_"Got it!" he exclaimed and with a swish of his hand, he moved the chairs back to their original places, repairing them. The pillows were repaired as well, and the books back in the bookshelves. This just left the traces of fruit that seemed to cover everything._

_"Scrungio!" James muttered and it vanished, leaving the walls sparkling as if they had just been recently painted. Just then the door opened to the common room and in walked McGonagall, her nostrils flaring._

_"I have just had to spend twenty minutes calming a first year who insists that there are various types of monsters in this common room who are shrieking and shouting. When I finally calmed her down enough to make sense of her babble, the only words that I could discern were James Potter and kill. That naturally led me to conclude that the screaming and shouting had to have come from Lily Evans which obviously means that once again Mr. Potter has done something?" she looked at James expectantly, waiting to own up. James looked at the girls and rolled his eyes, ready to take the blame._

_"Actually Professor McGonagall, James didn't really do anything. I just felt like yelling…I was yelling because I thought that I'd lost a book that I took out for reading and I thought he'd taken it but it turned out that I'd just left it here downstairs," she finished lamely. _

_Sirius winced at the poor excuse, he didn't think that McGonagall would buy it; she didn't. She looked at the Marauders suspiciously, but they maintained straight faces and the three girls nodded earnestly to prove that the Marauders had not caused Lily's little mental outburst. Professor McGonagall sniffed and walked out of the Common Room, her back straight. The moment she was out of their sight, Kiera collapsed onto the couch giggling._

_"Honestly Evans…is that the best you could come up with?" Sirius teased._

_"Sirius, give her a break. She hasn't had the expertise and the experience that we've had over the years. It takes time and dedication to develop the skills that we have…it's not for amateurs." Lily looked at James as if he was insane and was about to give a biting retort, but instead she grinned and sat down next to him._

_"Who knew that throwing stuff around would tire me out so much?" she groaned._

_"It's a good thing that I have decided to go a little easier on you this year Lily, or you would be tired all the time." James wiggled his eyebrows at her in a suggestive manner, grinning lewdly at his double meaning. Lily laughed, she was used to James's jokes by now with his double entendres._

Lily and James fell out of the Pensieve, laughing.

"Wow…I remember laughing so much that day. Even though it was probably the most immature thing that we could've done…have a food fight like a bunch of first years instead of the dignified seventh years that we were," Lily giggled in amusement. James's eyes glinted with amusement as he turned to look at Lily.

"You know…you should be lucky that I decided to go a little easier on you back then and even now…or you would be tired ALL the time and I mean that," he winked at her. Lily shook her head. There was a time when a simple comment like that would have flared up her temper and she would have flown into an uncontrollable rage, but now those comments just amused her, and sometimes left her with a little bit of longing. She got up the floor and brushed imaginary dust off herself. James noted this habit of her and rolled his eyes, she always had a phobia of having dust bunnies sticking to her even when there were none present. He waited for a reply to his comment but when the silence lengthened, he realized he wasn't going to get one.

"Thanks James," Lily said shyly, refusing to meet his. "I really needed that little jolt of remembrance to help me."

"Of course Lils, anything that I can do to help." He replied jovially and turned around to walk towards the door, but then last minute he changed his mind.

"Ye…Yes James?" she stuttered as he seemed to be looming down on her.

"I actually feel terrible for doing this when you seem to be in such a vulnerable state, but I can't seem to help myself." James whispered, yet to Lily's ears, he seemed to have shouted the words. Before she could ask him what he was talking about, he bent down and kissed her softly on her lips. By the time she could register this latest action of his, he straightened up and walked out of her room and into his. Shutting the door behind him, he said to himself,

"No it wasn't just an action Lils, it meant the world to me." He stood there for a long time, his fingers clutching a white feather.

AN: Okay so obviously I haven't updated in a while and for that I apologize. The chapters don't always come out the way I want them to and I would rather take a while in updating and giving writing that I actually like instead of updating on a regular basis when it's just nonsense. I know the last couple of chapters have been more contemplative and talking instead of action, but I promise that's going to change soon. I hope that everyone likes this chapter, and in case anyone missed there at the end, the feather that James is holding is the same feather that he pulled from Lily's hair when he kissed her. This was in one of the flashbacks, Ch. 5 I believe. Once again – review. I promise you, the more people review, the faster I seem to write because it makes me feel "wow, people actually like this stuff."


	9. Misunderstandings

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that you recognize

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that you recognize.

Lily sat in the kitchen, tapping her fingers impatiently as she waited James to come and explain what he was so excited about. Since he'd woken her up excitedly, he'd been running around like a mad person until a few minutes ago, he locked himself in his room, refusing to come out until he was "ready."

"Okay, ready." James called out. Lily rolled her eyes.

"Sure…now want to tell me what is that you're ready for?"

"Oh stop your whining," James appeared in the doorway carrying a big board. He put it down and Lily looked at it expectantly, but it was blank. She looked up at James questioningly while he beamed at her in delight.

"Uh James…it's blank." She gestured.

"Oh," he started and he waved his wand over the board and in a matter of seconds, the board was covered with a beautiful map.

"Cool…now what is it a map of?" she asked.

"Gosh Lily, nothing ever pleases you does it?" he grumbled, shifting his chair so he could sit next to her and explain.

"Well…if I actually understand what I'm supposed to be pleased about, maybe I would!" she retorted. James grinned to himself, this was the Lily he knew and lo…the Lily that he knew. Ever since their little talk a couple of nights before, she had tried harder to come back into the "real world" as he called it and while he noticed that at times she was extremely quiet, she wasn't letting her parents' death bring her down.

"Fine…let me explain." He spoke with the air of someone who was doing a great favor just by talking. "This is a map of Kharshire, which happens to be the area that we're in right now. This is us right now." He pointed to a section on the map. When Lily peered closely at the odd-shape she noticed that it had Lily Evans and James Potter written in minute writing.

"Why are our names written on it?" Lily's eyebrows furrowed as she screwed her eyes in concentration, she could've sworn that some of the writing on the map moved. Sitting back up, she muttered,

"Wow my eyesight is really bad if I think that words move on paper." At this, James's grin became even wider if that was possible.

"Lils, your eyesight isn't bad at all, it's perfect. Well I don't know about perfect but you're not going crazy, don't worry." He assured her. Lily looked at him wryly,

"I don't remember mentioning any worry of me going crazy but thanks for reaffirming that. And what do you mean my eyesight isn't bad…they're moving James," she replied.

"That is the beauty of this thing," James caressed the paper lovingly which caused Lily to burst into laughter.

"James, you do realize that basically half the female population at Hogwarts and some even outside of Hogwarts would give up several body parts to have you touch them that way?" she managed to say between a fit of giggles. James looked down, he didn't want Lily to notice that he was turning red.

"Aww…Jamesie is blushing!" Lily taunted, knowing that he'd hated that nickname ever since Sirius and Remus had made a song about him and his numerous admirers and sang it in the Great Hall.

"Shut up Lily, or I will…" James threatened.

"Or you will what?" Lily teased, knowing that he would never do anything to her. James approached her, with a mock ferocious growl on his face. Lily laughed, backing away.

"You will pay for that Evans," he whispered and before Lily could figure out what he was doing, he'd grabbed her and swung over his shoulder. Lily started kicking her legs and clawing at his back, hoping that he'd let her go, but all those years of Quidditch and Auror training had prepared him for physical assault like this. Before she knew it, she was standing in the bathroom in the bathtub. By the time she figured out what he was doing, the shower was on and she was standing in there, soaked.

"You are so dead." She screamed at James who stood there, chuckling at his own prank. "Potter, I am soaked!" she shrieked at the top of her lungs, shutting the shower off and she walked out of the bathtub, dripping wet.

"Ahh…memories, sweet memories." James mused, closing his eyes, remembering the countless amounts of fights that he had with Lily back when they were at Hogwarts.

Since his eyes were closed, lost in memory, he didn't see Lily come towards him with a dangerous glint in her eye. Taking her long red hair, she came really close to him and swung her hair, letting the droplets of icy cold water fall on his face, fogging up his glasses. His eyes flew open and narrowed as they looked at Lily's cheeky grin. Strands of her hair had fallen onto his shoulder which he picked up, and rubbed between his fingers gently.

"You have really soft hair," he whispered.

"All wet hair is soft," Lily replied, a bundle of nerves jumping up and down in the center of her stomach. James didn't bother replying, instead he just sat there, gazing into Lily's emerald eyes.

"James…" Lily stammered, trying to control her nervous system from exploding.

"Yes Lily," he answered softly, taking his time to draw her name out, almost like a caress. Lily shivered involuntarily.

"What are you doing so…" but she never got to finish her sentence because for the third time in his life, James Potter kissed Lily Evans.

This time, he did it with no hesitations, no qualms about her reactions, he kissed her freely. At first Lily was shocked, she hadn't expected it. But slowly, her arms curled up behind his neck and when James felt her stretching, he pulled her towards him, almost as if they were a pair of magnets being attracted towards each other. James shifted slowly, trying to make Lily come even closer until they were in a complete embrace, holding on tightly.

A few minutes later, James broke apart from Lily, but still held her close, resting his forehead on hers, breathing unevenly.

"James what was that?" Lily whispered. James took a deep breath, he'd been expecting this since the first time they walked back from the Malfoy manor when he'd hinted of his feelings towards her.

"Lily don't you know?" he groaned, lifting his head up to look her straight in eye. Lily's gaze wavered, but then she lifted her eyes and looked back at him squarely.

"James…it was something that happened two years ago. We're both acting on the attraction that could come with us living in such close quarters together. I mean we patrolled together, we had the same classes, a close group of friends…well sort of and we also have similar interests, but this isn't _real_." She explained, trying to make light of the situation. James's expression grew frustrated.

"Listen to yourself Lily. You're saying that just because of circumstance, we kissed? That makes no sense at all, and I thought that you were a bright witch. No, don't talk, listen to me. Yes, the living together and the patrolling together along with the other Head duties may have put us in each other's company for longer periods of time then we'd have normally, but we share the same interests? Wouldn't that help draw us towards each other? I don't know about you, but I'm speaking on my behalf. In you, I see everything I would want my life partner to be – simple, caring, giving, brave, smart." He stopped, his breathing getting a little harsher. Lily looked at him in the eye with a sad face.

"I notice how you didn't comment anything on my looks James. No, now you listen." She added as James opened his mouth to interrupt. "Maybe I am wrong about what is causing this attraction and you may be right. The experiences that we've lived so far have brought us together, but one thing is true – we are different people, from different parts of life. You are _the_ James Potter, known throughout the wizarding world for everything you've done in your life from the time you took your first step till the day you graduated from Hogwarts, top of our class. You have been in the public eye because you are a Potter, which is basically royalty in our world. Don't you get it? Being a Potter has certain expectations which you are meant to live up to."

"What the hell are you talking about?" James asked, his anger evident in the taut lines around his eyes. Lily realized that she was still in his arms and tried to take a step back, but he'd formed an iron grip around her back and she didn't really get much distance between them. Sighing, she tried fighting the urge to put her hand on his cheek, but she didn't succeed. James's eyes widened at the gentle touch and he covered her hand with his.

"When we were to go to Malfoys, you changed how I looked. There is a reason why I did well at Hogwarts James, besides hard work. I have a certain amount of brains. The appearance that you chose was your subconscious needed as your side, as your wife. That is what it should be like – not a hot-tempered, red-haired girl with freckles all over her face. You need a dark haired beauty with a flawless face who can actually reach your chin. Don't think that I didn't notice your expression when you looked at me the first time – it was a look that you have never given me in all the years that I've known you." James stared at her in shock, his arms loosening up giving her space to step back and put distance between them, physically and emotionally.

"I really don't know what you're talking about," James finally replied.

"I am not what you wanted, what your parents would have wanted, and I will not let that get in the way. Once again, this is circumstance, we're put together after two years on a mission together. Being in such close quarters can lead to feelings that aren't really there, it just seems like they are there." Lily answered, an obstinate set to her eyebrows. James sighed.

"Obviously you're not willing to listen to reason, but listen to this Lily Evans. From the time I was eleven, there has been one girl and one girl only for me and that has been you. You are a red-haired fireball ready to burn anyone who comes too close to you without your permission, but I love that about you. Yes, did you hear, I said I love that about you along with every other thing about you. You annoy the crap out of me at times with your stubborn nature, you think that you're always right about everything and while most of the time you are, this time you're wrong. I couldn't care if you were a midget or a giant, I still love you for who you are. I don't care whether you have red hair, black hair or even yellow hair for God's sake, I just want you. I don't know when you will understand that, but I hope that you do. A few days ago, you said that everything you wanted was right in front of you and you spent all this time developing relationships that don't matter, did you ever think that I was one of those cases? Everything you've ever wanted in a man in front of you from the time you were eleven years old? Lily, I'd do everything in my power to make you happy, to make you see reason, anything for you but how can I if you don't let me? I've told you in the past and I'll tell you again, give me a chance and I'll show you a whole new world." James finished his tirade and walked out of the bathroom, leaving a soaked Lily with tears running down her face.

Lily sat in her room, wondering if it was okay to go and talk to James. They had their personal issues to deal with and no matter what he said, she still believed that she right. But that didn't mean that the reason they were together in the first place should be ignored – Voldemort needed to be destroyed before any more lives were destroyed by him. Steeling herself to a strong resolve, she opened her door and knocked on James's door, waiting for a response. When she didn't receive any, she opened the door to find it empty. She searched the entire house until she reached the deserted kitchen as well, to find a note on the table.

I have gone out for a while

Love, James

Lily slumped down on one of the large chairs and rested her head on her arms.

_"Where did I go wrong? How did everything become such a mess?"_ she thought to herself.

She heard the door open and she turned to talk to James but instead, she felt a huge explosion and the last thing she remembered was flying through the air and landing face down on the floor, clutching James's note in her hand and whispering his name.

A/N: I am extremely sorry for this delay, you guys have no idea how sorry. I know I promised earlier updates if more people reviewed, but I've been really busy with work and other summer activities. I am going to try and work on this story more often. I hope everyone likes this chapter, I actually really did – it was probably one of my most favorite ones because this is how I imagined their relationship to be, but then again, I am a very big James Potter fan. Once again, reviews are always very helpful, wanted and needed. 


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